In attachment parenting, parents play a very active role in ensuring the well-being and development of their children. This style of parenting provides tools that help parents bond with their children through constant and loving attention to the baby's needs. This would be the starting point, but it's a long way to go, where children learn valuable life lessons such as empathy and compassion.
Today I want to talk to you about some important principles that are effective for help babies develop secure connections and strong bonds with their parents. Although each family has unique circumstances and different resources and needs of its own, these principles are intended to guide parents and help them better understand the normal development of children, identify the needs of their children and be able to respond to their demands through of respect and empathy.
Preparation for pregnancy and childbirth
In attachment parenting, pregnancy and childbirth are fundamental parts since it is the opportunity for parents to prepare physically, mentally and emotionally for early parenthood. This also includes thinking about the material things that the little one will need at birth such as clothes, clothes for the pregnant woman, kitchen utensils, diapers, etc. But it refers above all to the need for parents to participate in the arrival of the baby by being well informed and creating from the pregnancy an atmosphere of love within the home and between the couple. Some important guidelines are:
- Reflect on childhood experiences and current beliefs about parenting.
- Learn about the different types of childbirth and learn about natural childbirth.
- Learn about the importance of breastfeeding.
- Have healthy habits to ensure a good pregnancy.
- Maintain a strong and healthy relationship with your partner.
- Find routines to be able to create them when the baby is born.
- Etc
Feeding with love and respect
This fundamental principle of attachment parenting points out the importance of creating strong bonds through the consumption of food, this is something that will accompany children for the rest of their lives. It not only refers to breastfeeding but to the conscious feeding of children and to the use of food in moments of family life. Things to keep in mind can be:
- Breastfeeding is good for the mother and the baby.
- The baby needs to be fed on demand when he shows signs of wanting to eat (before he starts crying).
- Learn about artificial nipples to avoid them and look for other alternatives.
- If the mother is unable to breastfeed, it is important that breastfeeding behavior be imitated (holding the bottle close to the breast, having eye contact, speaking calmly and lovingly, etc.)
- Start with the introduction of solid foods when the baby shows signs that he is ready, not by age.
- Breastfeeding can continue as long as mother and baby agree.
- If the child wants to be weaned make sure he is ready.
Responding to the baby in a sensitive way
Parents must respond to their baby from the moment it is born with confidence in what they do and with empathy to be able to give the appropriate response to the child's needs. Babies communicate needs to parents in many different ways such as: with body movements, with facial expressions, with crying, etc. Parents must learn to trust their children to know what their needs are and thus be able to respond to them consistently.
This does not mean that in order to build a strong bond with the baby, only physical needs have to be met, but that you also have to have quality time to be able to interact with the baby, thus meeting the emotional needs, which are as important as the physical ones. .
As parents, it should be borne in mind that there are many myths that must be ignored in terms of raising babies, it is even necessary to reject those unwanted advice from family and friends and even the media.
Even if it is well-intentioned advice from others, it may go against your values. of your intuitive feelings as a mother and even of the normal development of the little one. For example, when other people say things to you such as: "don't hold your child who is going to spoil him", "you should give him a bottle", "don't breastfeed him on public roads", "let him cry just so that learn to calm himself "," let him cry to sleep "," he should sleep alone in his crib and not with you in bed ", and so on. Obviously they are recommendations that even if they are well intentioned you should not pay attention, your instinct is wiser and nature has provided us with it to be able to raise our newborn children well.
Some things to keep in mind are:
- The baby's brain is immature and underdeveloped so it is not able to calm itself, he will learn to calm down thanks to the constant and repeated comfort of the adult.
- You have to understand the internal and natural rhythms of children and program the environment based on that.
- It is normal for the baby to want a lot of physical contact and it should be provided.
- High levels of stress at home can cause babies to cry for no reason and even show illnesses or states of imbalance and suffer physical and emotional problems in the future.
- If you feel too exhausted to cope with your baby's needs, ask for help. You will never be alone.
- Tantrums are real emotions and should be taken seriously. Even if they seem silly reasons to you, they can be very important to your child.
- During tantrums you should comfort your child, but never get angry or punish him.
If you want to build a strong bond with your baby, it is very important that you constantly respond to his physical needs, but also to his emotional needs and that in this way you can interact with him. Follow your mother's intuition and ignore at all times what does not make you feel good or you think that it cannot be good for your child. Although there are no magic rules and children do not come with instructions under their arms, if you always try to do things for the good of your child, then ... you will be on the right track.