It seems like yesterday when your baby was born, when you held him in your arms in the hospital and you promised to take care of him and love him for the rest of your days. This will never change. But what does change is your baby, who is no longer such a baby and has now become an independent person capable of taking care of himself ... he leaves home, becomes independent. And you, you are not sure what to do with yourself, now what?
This feeling is normal and is called the 'Empty Nest Syndrome'. It is much more common than you can imagine. If you feel somewhat overwhelmed and very sad because your child is leaving home, you may be experiencing this syndrome. If you are not sure that this is the case, do not miss the 5 clearest signs that this is the case ... That you are going through the empty nest syndrome.
Feeling of loss
Now without all the hustle and bustle of daily life with your child at home, It is possible that you have a certain feeling of loss, and even that you do not know what to do with your life from now on. Despite having friends, more family, work and other activities that you can do every day, the feeling that predominates within you is that of loss, that of emptiness.
These feelings are very normal for all parents when their children recently left home. You are still a father or mother, that role you will never stop having, simply now your child is taking flight ... and you taught him to fly. Until you start to feel more normal with this new stage of life, you will continue to feel that way.
Relationship problems
On many occasions, couples forget that they are couples and put their relationship aside, making everything revolve around the children. If you have spent decades without caring for your partner because you have only cared for the family, you may find that when your children leave, your relationship needs some extra work to improve it.
You may not know what to do as a couple if the activities always revolved around the activities of the children. When this happens you can experience tension in the relationship. But the goal is not to disappoint or disappoint you, far from it. The goal is to become familiar with life as a couple and fall in love with that person next to you.
Emotional stress
You may have the easy tear at any time. Do not panic. Just now that your child is leaving shortly or has recently left, you feel very emotional and. It is totally normal. Turning your home into an empty nest is not easy and this can awaken a wide variety of emotions within you.
Maybe you feel sad because your child is growing up, that you feel angry with yourself for not having been at home more time with your children, you are afraid of getting old because your children are getting older and also, you feel frustrated that you are not where you are. you imagined at this stage of your life. There are many mixed emotions that you must accept.
You need not deny your pain or repress your sadness, because that will not make it go away. You must allow yourself to feel all the emotions that arise in your heart. Facing uncomfortable emotions can help you understand them, accept them and that they disappear on their own, giving way to a better emotional state.
Frustration from lack of control
Until now, you were able to have more control over your child's life. You knew what he was doing and what he wasn't doing at all times, now, when he leaves home that control will no longer be available to you. You will only know what he tells you on the phone or what you see that he does or does not do when he visits you home or you visit his home. You will no longer know what exactly your child is doing.
You do not know if your child leaves or enters the house, if he is being responsible or not with his life, if he is sick how he takes care of himself, if he eats or does not eat well ... it can be really frustrating for you. You may also feel somewhat excluded from your child's life by not knowing their daily schedule.
You need to avoid becoming a helicopter parent and not feel guilty for not knowing more about her life. You also don't want to force him to tell you everything because that will backfire. You better focus on dealing with your own discomfort in the healthiest way.
Over time this will get easier. You can get used to your son taking charge of his own life and you can establish a new sense of normalcy and tranquility in your life.
Constant anxiety
You may feel some constant anxiety because you do not know how your child is doing and that you only know what he tells you. Maybe you look at your mobile phone several times a day, you are aware of social networks just to see what your child to do ... But this is not useful or healthy for you. It is better to work in open and constant communication with your child, so that your relationship remains positive all the time.
This is not the time to ask your child if he brushes his teeth or what he eats at all times.. Now is the chance for your child to spread his wings and see how confident you are in his ability to fly. It is the moment he leaves his home that he will begin to put into practice all the skills that you taught him since he was a child.
You will have to balance the desire to be all the time knowing your child to give him his own privacy freedom. If necessary, create a plan for how you will be in communication with your child but not overly encroaching on the territory of his new life. You can have a weekly call, communicate by text messages or emails. If you are lucky enough to live close to home, you can meet once a week to eat together.