Educating a child is not an easy task. They are like sponges that absorb everything around them, and what we tell them, what they see and how they feel, will sow as they will be adults.
The saying that children always tell the truth is not entirely true. Almost all children lie to a greater or lesser extent. Occasional lies shouldn't be a problem. But we must be careful to prevent it from becoming commonplace.
At what age do children begin to lie?
Children can lie from the age of 2. It is not worrisome. Before the age of 3, they may say things that are not true, but that they are true to them. It is difficult for them to differentiate reality from fantasy, and it is usually the fruit of your imagination. They also have difficulty differentiating the truth and the lie.
Between 3 and 5 years old lie unconsciously. It is like a game for them, and you do not have to give it more importance unless they use it regularly to get what they want. They are not yet aware that lying is wrong.
From the 5 years they already seem to be lying consciously. They know perfectly well that lying is wrong, and what are your results. They use lies for a purpose, a tool.
Why do children lie?
Children lie for different reasons:
- For call the atention. If they know that lying will get your attention and love, they are more likely to use it to get it.
- To escape the consequences. If they have done something wrong like break something, they may blame the dog for not taking the consequences. Thus they are freed from punishment.
- Because of fear. It is one of the main reasons. If their education is very strict, they may be afraid of the consequences of their actions and prefer to lie.
- For boredom. Children have dazzling imaginations and the truth may bore you.
- To protect someone. His lies may be trying to protect someone, not just himself. That is why we should never ask children to lie to cover us.
- By imitation. Everything they see, everything they learn. If they see that lying is common at home, they see you doing it happily, then don't panic and your children do it too.
How to prevent your child from lying?
- Don't laugh thanks. It can be very funny and touching, especially when they are very young, to see them lie. But the worst thing we can do is laugh at them, as they will then use the lie to seek approval and attention.
- Don't punish him for lying. We have already seen that one of the main reasons for lying in children is fear. If you punish him for lying, you will reinforce his fear and you will not get him to stop lying but you will increase his fear. You will only get him to try better to lie next time to avoid being discovered.
- Reinforce when telling the truth. Instead of punishing lies, reinforce him when he tells the truth. Help him to fix the problem together, to find a solution. He will create a climate of mutual trust, he will see that he can count on you and that it is better to tell the truth than to lie.
- When he lies, don't give him what he wants. If he lies to seek attention, do not give it to him. If he says that his belly hurts so that you pay more attention, do not do it. So you will find another way without resorting to lies to get what you want.
- Don't ridicule him. If you have caught him in a lie, do not ridicule him, much less in public. In private, let him explain himself calmly, and let him know that you know he is lying. Criticize the lie but not the child. Explain the negative consequences of lying.
- Strengthen your self-esteem. The better your self-esteem, the less you will use lying to gain the approval of others.
- Do not lie him. Don't lie to him or make promises that you can't keep. And much less make him lie for you.
Because remember ... there is nothing that teaches better than the good example.