We all have recorded phrases that they used regularly to discipline us. It may seem that the how is not as important as the what, but the truth is that the Phrases we repeat to our children during childhood they will also accompany them in their adulthood. That is why today we share with you 10 positive discipline phrases for children.
The way we talk to our children will play over and over again in their heads in the future. And if we can choose, why not do it for phrases that educate positively and not negative? belittle, put pressure on, scream or demanding for demanding is not always the best path.
Positive discipline: what is it?
Some of the keys to positive discipline are:
- Highlight good behaviors and the achievements, motivating and encouraging their realization.
- use dialogue and not the imposition as a training method, trying to reach agreements.
- Practice active listening to establish a climate of harmony.
- set achievable goals for the little ones
- Agree on the rules and consequences of not complying with them, establishing fair and reasoned sanctions.
Phrases to start applying it
Starting to use positive phrases to educate our children can be difficult at first. We have so ingrained the ways with which we were educated that we tend to imitate them unconsciously. Leave behind that first impulse when it comes to educating our children, the one who invites us to scold, blame, threaten or punish is not a matter of a day; are you willing to try?
If you are willing to change the chip but do not know where to start, we share with you today 10 situations and 10 positive discipline phrases for children that can be a good alternative:
- They are asked for something and they do it on the spot. «I'm glad you came or did it so quickly. Then you'll have time to do something fun later!”
- They do something without us asking. «I saw that you picked up your plate, X! So the table will be cleared for breakfast! First call attention to what they have done and then offer a positive consequence for it. It is a sequence applicable to anything that they do that is positive, regardless of whether it is spontaneous or something that we have told them we would like them to do: pick up the clothes, clear the table, tidy the room, make the bed, put the toys away box, turn off the TV before the time assigned as limit...
- we want you to order. Your room is a mess, it will be very difficult for you to find something when you look for it. If you don't see him very willing to pick it up or he tells you that he doesn't want to, help him with something like this: Do you want me to teach you a trick to order it quickly?
- They apologize. “X, what you just did is very difficult. Not all children know how to ask for forgiveness.
- Hit or hurt another child: "X, I want to talk to you. Why did you hit Y?!» After listening to the explanation you can add... «I understand that it is because... but when you hit him you hurt him and remember how you felt when another child hit you. What do you think you can do the next time someone bothers you? It is important that before situations that frustrate or annoy them we help them look for alternatives: notify an adult so as not to resort to harm, get away from the center of the problem for a few minutes...
- Do something that is hard for you to do. "X, you've worked hard and it's getting better every time." The important thing is the effort, not the result.
- He doesn't want to eat something. Why don't you want to eat the vegetable? Do you think we put a little tomato or cheese on top?» It is important to offer alternatives and if he still refuses to explain why it is important to eat them. Another way to help with what they don't like is to agree on a meal schedule with them so they know in advance when there are vegetables.
- They do something they shouldn't: break, throw, dirty or mistreat something. The first instinct will be to scream, but instead of screaming she breathes a few times and… «X, we have to paint on the sheets. The doors are painted by painters with a special paint. (…) Let's clean the door together and then we take a sheet and paint on it, okay?» or… “X, you spilled your milk on the carpet! You have to drink the milk sitting in the kitchen because the carpet will be damaged if milk gets on it. Let's take the cloth and clean the carpet. (…)”
As you will have noticed, all or almost all follow the same pattern, first they connect with the child because that's the only way for them to listen to us and then they offer an explanation and a correction if necessary. Will you dare to apply these positive discipline phrases? You are already doing it?