9 reasons why your teens get mad at you

That teens are changeable and volatile is not new. Their hormones and their egocentric perspective on the world often cause their relationship with their parents to be marked at times by poor communication or poor understanding. Teens can have the same tantrums as two-year-olds, but taken to a higher level: they are much more difficult to control.

Teens have unexpected bouts of anger. This is part of being a teenager and your brain is driven by emotions. A well-intentioned conversation from a parent can lead to unexpected thoughts and behaviors on the part of a teenager… It can lead to a downward spiral into an abyss of uncontrolled emotions, slamming doors, or tears that will perplex any parent.

What are the possible triggers of adolescents

As a parent it is very important not to lose sight of why teens can get angry quickly, I mean, what things can trigger your anger without you barely noticing. By this, we do not mean that you should avoid all these things to prevent them from getting angry, far from it ... Simply that you know these things so that you are prepared for a possible attack of anger and that you take the opportunity to work with your adolescent child the emotions.

It is important that adolescents feel understood and heard at all times in order to improve communication between parents and children. Losing your cool is not a tasteful dish, but they need your understanding and also your guidance and guidance to learn to handle those emotions that 'a priori' seem totally uncontrollable.

When they feel that you don't understand them

'Nobody understands me', may be one of the phrases you hear the most from your adolescent son / daughter. Obviously it doesn't have to be something totally real… But teenagers can get very frustrated when they feel that their parents don't understand them.. The feeling of misunderstanding can make them feel very upset. 

They can also get angry when they feel that their parents do not understand what is going on in their lives. They think that their parents will only blame them for what happens and therefore, they will feel even more misunderstood.

When they care about you

Believe it or not, teens can get mad at you when they're worried about you. It seems like a joke but it is not. They do not yet know how to express all their feelings, so they will not know how to express their concern for you and by default, anger will appear ...

When they feel ashamed

This is not surprising because it happens to adults sometimes too, right? When a teenager is feeling ashamed or embarrassed about whatever it is, they will get angry. Teens are embarrassed when their parents try to act like a teenager, want to dress like them, or even use teen language. Parents should not be friends with their adolescent children, it is not good for their development and therefore, even if they do not know how to explain it to you, they may feel angry with you. 

When they let themselves down

You may be surprised by this one, but teens can get angry with themselves when they are disappointed in what they do or have done. They feel anger and that misdirected anger can focus it on you, because you are the person they love the most in the world. They don't want to be disappointed That is why it is important that you teach them that mistakes are part of learning, and also of life.

When compared to their brothers

Teens hate being compared to their siblings… Almost the same as when you are compared to someone else. Try never to compare your children, they are different, so appreciate who they are separately.

When you talk about your friends in a derogatory way

Talking about your teenage children's friends can be a minefield… Especially if you do it in a negative way. Your children will be very angry if you criticize their friends. Adolescents identify directly with their friends and if you say something that is not good they interpret it directly as if it were a direct criticism of them.

When they don't cope well with problems

Even if your children seem very mature, never (and I repeat: never) use them as confidants of your emotions or feelings. Teens are not ready to help you handle your problems. Remember that they are children and they still have a long way to go to be mature people and even if they are adults: you will always be their father or mother, therefore, your maximum reference in all aspects of life. 

When they feel sad or depressed

For many adolescents, feeling sad or depression It does not have to be synonymous with being down ... But to start showing anger and rage behaviors. Some teens with feelings of depression don't know how to act when they feel sad. If you see that your child has anger for too many days in a row and it is not just a change in behavior, then… It will be necessary to assess what help he or she needs to receive.

When they are not taken into account

It is important that parents do not call their teachers, coaches, etc. Unless they have talked to their children first about whatever they are. Teens can get angry because they don't want you to interfere in their lives unless it is absolutely necessary… They want to show their identity and their conflict resolution skills (even though they need your guidance at the same time).

In addition to all this, adolescents can feel angry for many other reasons such as the inappropriate emotional reactions of their parents, for gossip, for when their parents innocently spread their secrets talking to trusted relatives, when their parents they are not able to understand their non-verbal language ... There are many reasons and it will depend on the adolescent who gets angry about one thing or another. For what reasons does your child / adolescent usually get more angry? They need your guidance for emotional understanding.