Motherhood is something unique in the world. It is something that many women dream of. Let's say it is like a vocation in the life of many of us. When our time comes, it is magical. We have a precious baby whom we love with all our hearts and we promise him protection and affection from minute zero. Little by little, and as the days go by, our body weakens and with it our mind. We need a quiet moment but with our baby it is impossible; we must pamper him, feed him and protect him. Our physical and mental weakness is becoming more and more visible and sometimes we wish we did not get out of bed all day and have someone else take care of the baby. That thought makes us feel like we are failed mothers.
If you feel this way, you probably have burnout syndrome. This "ailment" is common in vocational jobs such as those in the biosanitary area; exhausted doctors and nurses who are unable to save their patients or fail to achieve a satisfactory diagnosis. In mothers (and fathers, although to a lesser extent), it manifests as a set of defeatist symptoms; symptoms of failure in motherhood. But whose fault is it that there are mothers who feel this way? The answer is in the idealization of motherhood as something perfect, forgetting ourselves for wanting to be the best. If you feel extreme exhaustion and can't take it anymore, read on to understand yourself a little more:
Burnout symptoms
Being a syndrome, it is characterized by having a series of symptoms at the same time in people. These not only remain in the physical, but also affect psychologically:
Physical symptoms
- Headaches recurring.
- Body aches, especially joint and back pain.
- Insomnia, despite extreme exhaustion.
- Tiredness
- Gastrointestinal symptoms, such as heartburn, reflux, constipation ...
- Dizziness
Psychological symptoms
- Desire to cry constant.
- Depression.
- Feeling of loneliness.
- Isolation social.
- Defeatistic thoughts.
- Frustration.
- In very serious cases, ideas suicidal.
What I can do to feel better?
The first thing you should do is get the idea of an ideal mother out of your head; the one who doesn't scream, doesn't cry and doesn't lose her papers because she doesn't exist. As people, it is normal that we have days when we are more nervous and just as we argue with our husband or with our wife, we can one day argue with our children. It is normal that our young children sometimes take us out of our boxes And although we know that yelling is bad for them and us, it may happen that one day our strength will go through our mouths. (Be careful, I'm not looking for justification, much less if the "scourge is reached in time", but it can happen and I don't think that anyone should be crucified for that).
Motherhood is a very hard job that does not understand breaks and many people underestimate this work because it is "from home". People who have been left to care for their children without working outside the home have admitted that there is nothing harder than dedicating 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, to the sole and exclusive care of a baby or a child. The most important thing is that you understand that nothing lasts forever. Right now your child needs you, but he needs you well, both physically and psychologically.
Ask for help
If you see that you can't take it anymore and that you experience the symptoms that characterize this syndrome, ask for help. If you do not have close friends, or you think they will not understand you, you can consult with your midwives. Sometimes in childbirth centers they have psychological support for mothers. In my opinion, all mothers should have the availability of a psychologist specialized in motherhood to help us get these perfectionist ideas out of our heads.
Talk freely about your motherhood. You do not have to idealize it or feel it perfect if you do not believe that it is so. You are not going to be a bad mother for thinking that you want to be alone for a whole day. Remember that first of all, your son loves you; He wants you happy, healthy, and patient.