Children are very affected by the separation and divorce of their parents. For the smallest of the house it involves a series of changes in their routines and in their family life that upset them and many times they do not know how to manage it. If we learn to see How does a child live the separation from their parents, it will be easier for us to help them and do things well.
As children grow up, they become an idea of what your family is and they understand that concept as something immovable and timeless. This is because it always has been and always will be. And when the fateful moment comes when they know their family is broken, it is a great emotional distress. Its intensity will depend on the emotional maturity of the child, his age, his personality and how the elders handle this situation.
The pain of a breakup is not only suffered by the couple
Unfortunately when there are children involved in a breakup, those affected multiply. Making the decision is not an easy task, but sometimes it is better not to live under the same roof and to live separate lives for the good of the family. It must be a firm and well thought out decisionas it will completely change the family. During the first months it will be difficult, where you have to return to a routine with the new changes, and we already know that all changes cost at first. But doing things in a good way we can make this process not so painful for the family.
How many times for wanting to harm the other spouse during a separation children are used as a throwing weapon. In these cases, children suffer much more than during a friendly separation (or as friendly as a separation can be), creating a lot of unnecessary pain if things are done right.
Children feel separation from their parents as a pérdida. Nothing will be the same. Its reality as it has been until that moment, ceases to be. Now he will not be able to be with mom and dad at the same time, they will have to learn to separate their time for one and the other. As in all loss, there is a duel. A process of adaptation to the new reality. Let's see how children experience separation from their parents.
How children experience separation from their parents
Separation from their parents makes them feel sad, anxious or guilty. It is normal for them to be afraid of new changes, and not to understand what is happening. They are afraid of being responsible for the breakup, that their parents no longer love them, that everything changes ... They feel insecure Given the situation, scared for what will happen in the future and sad because he will have to separate from one of his parents at some point.
They may also have the I wish that his parents reconcile and do things to make it so. It is a way of denying the reality that at that moment they cannot face. It would be the denial phase of the grieving process.
Other children are affected with sleep problems and poor school performance. Especially at the beginning of the separation, it is usually something quite common in children. They may also revert to do something from previous ages, like wanting a pacifier again or peeing on it.
Some children express their emotions in the form of listlessness, irritability, blockiness, or aggressiveness. Remember that children find it difficult to recognize and express their emotions correctly, so they sometimes express them in other ways.
The emotional blackmail they are usually a weapon used by children in separations. If you are not satisfied with what one of your parents tells you, you can lie or change reality to get what you want.
If you are about to get divorced, you cannot miss the article "Tips for Parents About to Divorce", where we leave you some practical advice to do things in the best way.
Because remember ... in a separation the great victims are the children.