"I am a mother and I feel alone." Have you ever had this feeling? If so, you should not panic or think that you are about to fall into a depression. This feeling is more than common, especially during the first years of our children's lives.
We know very well that we have the help of our partner, our family, that the care and attention of our children is the task of all, however, raising children in these early stages of life falls almost exclusively on us . These are moments when many thoughts, doubts and above all, feelings of loneliness appear. In "Madres Hoy» we want to offer you some coping strategies.
Reasons why I feel lonely
The reasons why you may feel alone are multiple and do not have the same origin. Now, it should be clarified from the beginning that we are not just talking about that postpartum sadness that can sometimes lead to depression. We are talking exclusively about the feeling of "loneliness" that a mother may feel at any given moment.
The causes, and as an example, could be the following.
- You have stopped working, your routines have changed and you spend many hours alone at home taking care of your children. You are happy, you love your children, yet "you perceive that you are missing something."
- You have the help and support of your partner, but you do not feel fully understood or supported, there are aspects of raising your baby in which you feel alone.
- You may also be a young mother. It is possible that your friends continue with their life as always, their moments of fun, study, that freedom that characterized you before and that now, somehow, you no longer have. You perceive that while you have new responsibilities (which you like and accept), other people seem to leave you behind.
- Sometimes it can also happen that, for whatever reasons, you face motherhood alone. Whether voluntarily or not, this fact sometimes makes you feel that uncomfortable emptiness.
In all these aspects, one aspect is always clear: we are well, we are happy with our children, there is no malaise or existential crisis. The only thing that happens is that we feel alone, and it is a feeling sometimes somewhat frustrating.
What to do every time I feel lonely while raising my children
Avoid routines
Avoid routines while having children? It seems almost impossible, since as we already know, and especially During the first months of a child's life, very specific routines and habits are needed to allow the proper development of the baby.
Lactation, naps…. And this situation does not usually change much, since although children are more active as they grow, mothers are more than forced to follow the routines of our children. That is why, when we are subjected to these strict schedules that we even have to combine with our work, We end up subjected to days that are exactly the same as each other.
What can we do? Take note of the following.
- Combine the obligations of the children with your partner or other family members if possible.
- Be aware that each day must be unique and special, And that for this, you must do something new every day to find stimuli and small pleasures.
- Go for a walk with your child, let the sun shine on you, go to a cafeteria with the cart, meet your friends: get social.
- If possible, you can also sign up for a course with your baby where you can both enjoy the experience: there are swimming classes for babies, yoga and relaxation classes, early stimulation... They are undoubtedly very rewarding activities.
Talk to someone about how you feel
If you feel lonely, talk about it with your partner. Most likely, there is an underlying problem that needs to be addressed:
- You may be assuming many responsibilities and see that your partner is not on the same level. Do not see it as something negative, sometimes, mothers tend to control many aspects of parenting In those early years and unintentionally, parents are left in a secondary place due to indecision.
- Establish a proper dialogue with your partner. Do not wait for him to intuit what is happening to you: it is necessary to establish an adequate affective communication where everything is exposed. If you keep quiet about what you feel, you will accumulate resentment and sadness, and little by little helplessness can lead us to depression.
You are a mother and a woman who must continue to promote your personal growth
You are a mother, your priority is your children and that is something that you have clear. Now, do not forget that you must take care of your personal growth, there where to continue taking care of your self-esteem, reaching dreams and building projects.
- Sometimes many mothers come to think that with the birth of their child their professional lives have ended, or at least, many of those doors in which he had dreamed are already closing.
- You don't have to go to these extremes. You know that you love your son, and that you will do everything for him, however, this is not at odds with continuing to grow personally and professionally.
- Maybe the reason you feel lonely is because you perceive that your life has stopped in some way. Do not fall into this error and remember that If you are not happy and you do not feel good about yourself, it is very difficult for you to give happiness to those around you.
You are a mother, you have made your weaknesses your strengths and few things can stop you. The reason? The reason is and will be your children, they for whom to continue advancing, for whom to continue growing every day to be happy with who you are, and to make them happy.
- The feeling of loneliness is something common in humans, it is not your exclusive
- Understand that all mothers have felt that feeling: that of being alone with the responsibility of parenting. And even more, all of us, mothers or non-mothers, men, women, children and the elderly, struggle every day in the face of this sensation.
- The loneliness that embraces us from time to time it is nothing more than a warning, a warning that there is something in our lives that we must face.
- Sometimes it is enough to make a small change: go for a walk, change your routine, talk with other mothers and share that experience. You will realize that it is something normal, the essence of humanity itself.
However, when you feel alone you can also take your children and do something new for you and for them: put on music, go out to the terrace to sunbathe, have an ice cream ... The sun rises every day and it always gives us reason to smile.