Can your teenager lock you out of your room, claiming privacy? No. While certain elements of your teen's life are private, his bedroom is not really one of them. It is your home, and it is perfectly appropriate for him to come in and out of his room occasionally (daily or weekly). What if you left candy bars on the floor and now you have mice? These are questions that you should know.
If you have stored the computer, television, and sophisticated sound system in another part of the house, you can consult a professional if your teenager spends a lot of time alone in his room.
But put this in context: If your teen is an avid reader, he may just be turning off the noise in the home to enjoy his latest book. That is a good reason to see him from time to time, if you are reading, you will know.
Guidelines for respecting your privacy
Should you spy while you're in the room and he's not there? No. Would you want him snooping around your room? Respect goes both ways. Does this mean that you should never spy or ask questions? Not at all. Here are some guidelines:
- If you hear your teenager talk about doing something forbidden (taking drugs, hitting someone, stealing, etc.) tell your child that you have listened. You may be right and you should get involved.
- If your teenager leaves something in your sight more than once, then they may want you to see it. Sometimes teens deliberately want you to "find" something because they know of no other way to raise a sensitive or problematic topic.
- While your child's bedroom should be open territory, it should be entitled to a private drawer or closet area. You should investigate this private area only if you observe any type of disturbing behavior: She is suddenly dating a very different group of friends you don't know, her behavior changes dramatically (for example, she has become very reserved), or she is acting in such a way that you fear that she may be hiding drugs or alcohol in her room .
- If you see your child come home and go straight to his bedroom, go back because maybe want to talk. Knock before entering, just as you would like me to knock on your closed door.)