It is unavoidable feeling pressured and expressing our anger with fits of rage. In the middle of a storm we manage our impulsiveness with anger and translate it into anger, a tremendous and bad feeling that many times we found on our children. These types of attacks are a bad gesture and you have to know how to control them.
Maybe the problem It is not in justifying that we internalize harsh criticism of ourselves, in which this type of behavior is supported by the daily stress to which we are subjected and by having had a past with some adversities. Absolutely we must give a no to this type of act and we must look for a remedy.
Why do angry outbursts arise in parents?
It is something innate that we manifest unconsciously, but some of us express it in a more critical and irresponsible way than others. That is why you have to know that subordinate anger in adults it can be very harmful to children.
Our past is irretrievably etched inside our heads and does not go unnoticed. The own fears and anger that we may have experienced in the past acts as a consequence and now makes them rebound unconsciously. It is difficult to bury the ghosts of the past and that is why adults repeat patterns.
What happens to our son when you have a fit of anger?
Given the pressure we feel with certain responsibilities, and the fact that children exorbitate their own parents, we are faced with the situation of jump unhinged and show ourselves irrational. Surely there are many times that we have evaluated our behavior and we have criticized ourselves as bad parents, because we have surely yelled at them and in some cases we have even raised our hands.
Children offer their confidence and provide shelter and safety to their own caregivers, they have no one to turn to, so a great deal of anger towards him is to attack your own self-esteem with effects very negative in the long run.
An attack of anger is already scary in itself, so if we mix this with insults and verbal or even physical abuse create life-long negative effects on the child. It is possible that their IQ will become lower, they abuse some substances and they are prone to having stormy and toxic relationships in the future.
How to avoid outbursts of anger
Keep calm before acting in anger. It is a very difficult moment of self-control, but you have to believe that this can be done and we are capable of doing it. You should evaluate what makes you mad, look for the origin of that nervousness and make it calm. Out of this fit of rage look for moments that make you smile and do meditation, It seems absurd, but it is one of the best tools, you only have to dedicate 15 minutes a day to yourself.
Pause that moment. It is a time of great tension and before acting you can escape from that situation. If for any reason you cannot put the child aside (or the child escapes behind you) try to calm yourself by taking deep breaths or wetting your face. If you stand up, do the same breathe, get wet, even take a quick shower. After only try to pronounce positive phrases out loud and repeat them several times as a mantra.
If the anger does not go away you must think about what insecurity is hidden under anger. You must look for what is the damage or fear that is hidden under all this. In this complex moment, thinking about things that can give you an answer can help you to calm down.