Parents want to give the least to our children. But sometimes due to ignorance, following learned patterns, past experiences or not knowing how to do it in another way, parents make mistakes that lead us to be toxic parents. You may be and you don't know it. Here we will describe the characteristics of toxic parents to know how to detect if you are and to be able to change.
What are toxic parents?
They are those parents who for different reasons as we saw before, cause suffering to their children through demands, demands and toxic behaviors. This causes poor psychological development, great emotional distress and low self-esteem in children, the consequences of which can mark them forever and accompany them throughout their lives.
Parents are the first reference of love in children. And if these people try to manipulate them, demand them, blackmail them ... what concept of love are we giving to children? Well, if you want others to do something you want, you have to manipulate to get it, use blackmail and whatever is necessary. Because your wishes are above those of others. That is what you would be teaching him.
Characteristics of toxic parents
As people that we are, it is normal for us to make mistakes. But toxic parenting behaviors are more than just a mistakeThey are a decision about how to educate children, through fear, demands, abuse ... that can ruin the lives of their children forever.
Let's see what are the main characteristics of toxic parents and what it causes in children.
- Authoritarian: those who require their children to be and do what they want. They do not tolerate mistakes, they are very critical and perfectionists, and create submissive children, with low self-esteem, insecurity,…
- Overly critical: They are parents who all they do is criticize everything their children do wrong. They criticize everything about their children: their friends, their tastes, their behavior, their achievements ... They never say anything good, they focus on the bad and beat them with it. More than animate they sink them. The children become insecure, unmotivated and feel worthless.
- Overly protective: Being overly protective can be just as bad as being overbearing or overly critical. The desire of many parents not to want their children to make mistakes or make mistakes or get hurt, we overprotect them. This prevents them from learning from their actions, from taking responsibility for their behaviors and their lives. They turn insecure, dependent and immature. Ne needs to make mistakes to learn from them.
- Manipulators: They are the ones who through emotional manipulation try to get what they want from them and control them. The children become victims of their manipulations. This behavior causes children to be unable to make decisions in their life, they become indecisive, without self-confidence and flee from responsibilities.
- Physical and verbal abusers: Unfortunately there are still them. Parents who believe that the only way to learn is through fear, contempt, and physical abuse. The damage this does to children is devastating. They are parents who justify themselves saying "it's for your good" or "I was educated like that and look how well I turned out." Abuse cannot be justified in any way. Children raised under violence They can reproduce this type of behavior, have low self-esteem, feelings of guilt, anxiety and depression.… And psychological problems that will extend throughout his adult life.
- Those who blame everything on their children: They are specialists in blaming everyone except themselves. They blame their children for their mistakes and failures, for not having the life they want, for having put things aside for them ... This produces in children low self-esteem, feeling of little personal worth, guilt, ...
For remember… the educational style we have with our children will have an effect on them that will last a lifetime. Choose well how you want to do it.