There are many types of abuse, such as abuse of authority, or abuse of force, that can be exercised by both adults and peers of their age and that can be equally harmful to the minor and their development.
Today we focus on definition of what is considered sexual abuse of a minor, how to detect it and what reaction is the most convenient after having evidence of them. It is very important that, as parents, we know how to protect them in these types of situations.
What can we consider sexual abuse?
La general definition of sexual abuse covers the following assumptions:
- Penetration with sexual organs or objects.
- Touching or inciting to touch taking advantage of the minor's lack of knowledge.
- Looking lewd at the minor, forcing him to witness sexual practices or to see inappropriate content such as movies, pornographic images, as well as having conversations of a sexual nature.
- And in any case any behavior that makes the minor feel uncomfortable or intimidating is abuse.
Signs that can help us detect an abuse or an abuser
If we detect any change in a child's behaviorAs it may be that he pees when he has passed that stage, that he is sadder or that he does not want to talk, it may be an indication that something is happening. Not necessarily every time these behaviors occur, it will be because of abuse, but they are mechanisms that are activated in traumatic situations, as would be the case.
Sadness could be a sign of abuse
An abuser does not act haphazardlyHe chooses vulnerable people in some sense that facilitates his own satisfaction. Either because they are in a situation of helplessness and loneliness maintained over time or because of their low self-esteem, or because it gains their trust and manipulates them to make them believe that they are responsible for the abuse, or that they even consented to it.
It is very likely that a person who has been abused once will find himself in abusive situations again. As we said, abusers seek vulnerability in their victims. They detect the insecurity, fear and pain behind a wound of this caliber.
Although many cases occur with violence, in the vast majority the abusers are like snake charmers, capable of convincing you that the moon is the one that reflects on the sun and not the other way around. Sometimes there are cases within the family, which complicates everything much more, because the first warning the abuser will make is "no one is going to believe you"Because he is the adult and no one believes in children more than in grown-ups.
Another sign that we should pay attention to is if someone pays excessive attention to our child, gives him gifts, etc. Those samples that appear to be gestures of appreciation, are pure blackmail to obtain their objective.
What can we do about it?
In case we detect something that makes us suspect that our child or someone we know is suffering, has suffered or could suffer abuse, the first thing we must do is make sure that they understand what it is, even if we cannot explain the real definition. That is, if it is a 3-year-old child, we will explain to him, in a way that he understands, that no one should touch him if he does not want to, that you know that older people lie and that he has the right to defend himself and protest if someone does something that does not like it.
But above all, the most important thing is to teach your children from a young age that you are their support, that they should not have secrets from you. You should know that a mother is there to help you cope with whatever problems you encounter in your life.
If it is possible to prove it, complaintAlways consult a lawyer and a specialist therapist in these types of cases, since sometimes the legal processes are long and you have to be prepared to endure it.
If it is not possible to demonstrate it, never suggest that it be silentHe will feel guilt and shame, but he is not the one who has done anything wrong. Ask for helpHead up and look forward, keep up the positive reinforcement no matter what happens around you.
Tips to help you manage it
If you detect this type of problem in your home, Maintain a calm demeanor, and don't make him feel that you doubt his word.
Most likely, anger, pain and frustration will take over you. But they are negative feelings that, instead of helping your child heal, could make an already dramatic situation worse.
Unburden yourself, go to therapy and think about your son, he needs to see you strong. He needs you more than ever.
No one has the right to judge, criticize, or even give an opinion on what they do not know from their own experience if we refer to such a serious situation. The fair thing is that do not listen to someone who does not have enough information to assess the true magnitude of the situation, since their criteria are based on prejudices.