With the birth of a baby brother, family life changes and your older child may feel a more negative reaction than usual. Experts call this reaction "dethroned prince syndrome”. It is very normal, as long as you do not put your life or the baby's life in danger.
Jealousy between siblings is very normal, older siblings feel that their parents do not pay as much attention as before and the attention has shifted to the new member of the family. They need our attention and help to learn to manage this new situation in the best way.
How to anticipate dethroned prince syndrome
To reduce the suffering of the child as little as possible, there are a series of tips that can be carried out before birth. It is important to generate a bond with his future brother. That he can touch the tummy, talk to him and that he can participate in decisions about the baby. So when I am born will want to take care of it and protect it like a good older brother.
We can also explain how important it is to be an older brother: playmate, protector, role model ... Being the oldest also has its advantages!
Warning signs
Although each child behaves in different ways when faced with the same situation, there are clear signs in their behavior that do not go unnoticed:
-Wanting to be small again: they demonstrate this with evolutionary setbacks (they want to take a bottle, put on diapers, talk like a baby ...).
-Draw attention in a negative way: to claim that attention that they consider that they have stolen their desperate search, even if it is to scold them. They lower their grades, they become aggressive ...
-It makes as if the brother does not exist: ignore it or treat it with indifference, as if it does not exist.
-Dolores: they present psychosomatic pain such as stomach pain, headache ...
How parents should react
Faced with this behavior you have to be patient, understanding and have a positive attitude. Your son has stopped being the center of your universe to leave his crown to the baby. As parents you have to help them adapt to this new family situation. These tips will help you:
- Don't show preferences between siblings or compare them.
- Praise the older brother in front of the little one.
- Pleasure joint activities: create activities that you can do with the two of you so that the older one does not feel left out: read them a story, bathe them together ...
- Leave space to express your emotions. Through games, stories and drawings, he can express his feelings and learn to manage them.
- Whenever you can give him quality time: he is still a child and needs the attention of his parents.
- Ignore him when he misbehaves or as a younger child. What you are looking for is just that, and if you get it that way you will be promoting bad behavior.
With patience and lots of love the situation will eventually normalize. If your child has aggressive behaviors with the baby, cut them in the bud, and if the situation gets out of hand, consult a professional.
Why remember ... by helping our children to manage their emotions we will be turning them into healthy and competent adults.