In the park, the baby falls:
MOTHER. (Helping him up) Are you alright darling
PERSON X. Come on, upstairs, yes, nothing happens!
"Nothing happens". AHA. But have you had time to see that it's okay, Person X? Not me. And this is how you act when anyone, regardless of age, falls down the street? Then, Why if a baby falls "nothing happens" systematically without assessing the damage?
Sometimes we fall and emerge unscathed, but other times, our skin breaks or our emotions scratch. It also happens to a baby: sometimes he falls and gets up nimbly and continues playing, but other times he hurts himself and cries. It's human to take the time to ask him how he's doing, check the damage (and heal him if he had to), give him a hug, and play again.
Validate emotions
There are a number of beliefs embedded in our culture that are quite strange. I have put just one example above. Against these, let's be empathetic, and validate emotions. I too fell and, whether it hurt me or not, I wanted to be hugged later. Wounds are cured with plasters, but also with love.
After a fall, a baby may feel angry at having stumbled, may be frustrated at not winning the race, may feel ashamed because others are looking at him ... endless emotions. Let's name it, express it, and play with it. And let's hug him very tight.
Hold me tight and don't tell me "Be strong"
Those kinds of beliefs he was referring to promote an unnatural and inhuman tendency of behavior. But we are primitive, tribal and full of emotions. Mothers are very strong; we women are, and motherhood makes us even more so for our children. I already wrote a article about it. But that strength does not come from words of encouragement.
It is necessary, of course, and welcome breath after a fall. But sometimes, when you are swimming with all your might against the waves, what you need is the calm sea to breathe. If someone stops the wind and holds you tight so you can rest, it might be easier.
Sometimes we need to cry and feel neither more nor less strong, cry and let all the emotions that compress our chest flow. It's simple: sometimes we just need to express ourselves. And let another person listen to us, bring us a trace of hot tea, tell us what is going to happen ... and hug us.
Yes something happens
The same thing happens to our babies. They may not have a scratch after a fall, but they cry ... because they are angry, surprised, ashamed, etc. So something happens, of course it happens: a whirlwind of sensations and feelings that must be validated and embraced so that our babies grow up emotionally healthy.