Adolescence is a complicated stage for both parents and their children who are going through this stage. He may try to make you feel guilty by recriminating that you do not understand him or even, he may say words such as that he hates you or that you are nobody for him or her. Obviously, They are only words of emotions that they do not know how to channel properly and you should not take it as a personal attack.
When a teenager attacks you, it is not something that has to do with you, it is their feelings, their difficulty to control themselves, their immaturity to understand and express their emotions. They need you more than ever, they need you to be their guide ... Even if they deny it outright or try to make you see that they don't need you at all.
If you take these attacks personally, you will only be able to give him power and make him think that you do not have enough capacity or self-control, which will make you feel unsafe and that the fight at home is assured. If when your teenager has a tantrum, then you have it too… There will only be problems at home. If you do not want to take the attacks of your teenagers personally, you should remember the following:
- Take a deep breath
- Let the pain of their words go, remember that they are not words that are really directed to you
- Remember that you must learn to understand your emotions
- Don't yell at him or have aggressive responses
- Try to empathize with your child and put yourself in their place, remember what it feels like to be a child who is upset and does not know how to react properly
- Think about how to respond calmly and constructively
- Set limits in a calm tone
- Let your child know that you are by his side and not against him
- Act from love and respect