Anger is a normal emotion that everyone experiences in our lives. Anger helps us to know how we feel and to assess whether there is something that we have to change around us or in ourselves in order to improve our well-being. Many adults find it difficult to express or control negative emotions such as anger or angerSo, can you imagine how it can cost a child to get it?
It is the duty of parents to guide and guide their children in understanding emotions, especially the most intense ones. You have to start from the fact that the emotions are all acceptable, whether they are more or less intense. All emotions will help us understand what happens to us and how we feel in each moment, children should know that emotions are respected and that they have names.
Sometimes when a child is overly angry he can enter a time of high stress or anger crisis. At this time it is not advisable to try to reason with children or make them understand things when they feel emotionally blocked. In this sense, it is more appropriate to enhance the understanding of negative feelings. A child who feels understood will be better able to control his emotions by feeling respected and safe.
But what is to be done when children are angry? There are some effective strategies for dealing with anger in children. Discover some of them so you can put them into practice today.
Effective strategies to work anger in children
Control your emotions first
A father or a mother who does not control his negative emotions will not be able to transmit calm and security to his children. If a father or mother screams when a child screams because he does not know how to control his emotions, what will happen is that the little one will learn that screaming is a normal part of communication when one gets angry or has overwhelmed feelings. And this is a mistake.
Parents need to first learn to respect their own emotions, to respect them, and to know what they mean. In this way they can later understand the intense emotions of their children. In this way, when they know how to accept their emotions, they will be able to accept and understand those of others. Control is the key to success when it comes to intense emotions. If you notice that you are going to yell at your children, it is worth leaving the room, breathing and counting to 10, coming back and speaking firmly with solutions. Remember that screaming does not educate.
Control tantrums
Remember that tantrums and tantrums are nature's way of helping immature brains release emotional stress. Children still do not have the nerve pathways in the frontal cortex to control themselves as we adults do. LThe best way to help children develop these neural pathways is to offer empathy while they are angry and at other times.
Your children need to express their anger, rage, disappointment, anger in a healthy way ... They will need your support after the tantrum so that in this way they feel closer to you and with more confidence. In this way, they will feel less hurt and can be more emotionally generous.
Understand that anger is a defense against threat
It comes from our natural "fight, flight, or freeze" response to peak times of stress. Sometimes the threat is outside of us, but often it is not and it is within us. We see threats outside of us because we carry old emotions full of pain, fear or sadness. Whatever is happening in the moment triggers those old feelings and we go into fight mode to try to refill them or control the situation.
Thus, while your child may be upset about something at a certain moment, it may also be that he is dragging an emotional backpack in which he wants to show fear or cry to vent. A new disappointment can feel like the end of the world for a child because old feelings arise. Children will do anything to defend themselves against these intolerable feelings, so they rage and lash out… In an attempt to feel better about the emotions that make them feel so bad.
Make sure your child advances in anger
If they feel safe expressing their anger or anger and show compassion and understanding to their anger, the anger will begin to fade. So while you accept the anger and anger of your child ... it is not the anger that is healing, it is the expression of the fears under the anger that washes away the pain and sadness and makes the anger fade, because once your child shows you the most vulnerable feelings, Anger is no longer needed as a defense and he will feel understood and valued from you.
Ignore his behavior in a fit of anger
Children experience daily pains and fears that they do not know how to verbalize or that they do not even know that they are suffering because they do not know how to recognize them. When this occurs they store up these negative feelings and look for opportunities to 'unload' these upsetting emotions.
When a child complains about the impossible or cannot be pleased with anything, they usually just need to cry and vent those emotions that make them feel bad. You need to know what emotion is dominating you and find solutions to make you feel better.
Remember that calm always comes after the storm. For this reason, the moment your child feels totally angry with tantrums, don't have another one. What your child needs is physical and emotional protection and security. In this sense, you must show patience, calm and security so that they feel understood and valued at all times. When you feel understood, you will see that it is not necessary to remain angry and therefore, your negative emotions will begin to dissolve and you will be able to have a much more successful communication. Accept your emotions and understand those of your children.