Many people believe that a biological mother has a bond greater than that of the father, but for many, this argument is difficult to justify. There are mothers who still defend that they have a more special bond with their children than their partners and that it is something that is felt since the children are in the womb. This is compounded by publicity and the widespread expectation that mothers can be mothers and fathers and fathers only fathers.
But we are in a rapidly changing society, are there reasons to suppose that mothers are better suited to care for children than fathers? There are people who argue that the maternal instinct is very important in the biology of women and that thanks to this instinct women will have a greater bond with their children. But really, can pregnancy, hormones, childbirth, and parenting experiences create a stronger bond than parents?
The relationship between parents and children can begin before birth
Some scholars argue that the relationship between parents and children can begin before birth. They state that this prenatal bonding (the feeling of being connected to the baby before birth) is an important predictor of the mother-child relationship. However, the actual evidence linking feelings about the baby during pregnancy with postnatal behavior is inconsistent, so it is not clear whether these feelings really influence the subsequent mother-child relationship.
It is also necessary to bear in mind that by not having experiences of pregnancy or emotional connection with the baby, this does not mean that subsequent relationships are in danger ... As for example, those people who have adopted a child.
Parents change too
Oxytocin, commonly advertised as the bonding hormone, is known to be released in large amounts during childbirth and during breastfeeding to help regulate maternal attachment in mammals. What is less known is that fathers also release oxytocin just like mothers do when they interact with their children. There are, however, differences between mothers and fathers in the types of interaction that can produce these high or low amounts of oxytocin.
For mothers, when talking to their babies, the fixed look in their eyes and the affectionate contact are enough to release the bonding hormone. For parents, touch and playful behavior such as holding their baby, kissing and hugging their little ones can also lead to increased oxytocin levels.
A big problem when it comes to understanding the differences and similarities between fathers and mothers is that the most research on bonding cannot be directly compared on the two parents. This is likely to occur because mothers in our society stay with babies longer after birth, even longer than fathers. Researchers may have a difficult time finding enough homes where parents are the primary caregiver. In this sense, it is not so easy to know if parents who interact differently with their babies (as mothers do) approach biological differences or not. Fortunately, more and more parents are concerned about having a good connection with their babies from before birth and that when they are born, they are involved in parenting in all aspects.
So what happens?
But can fathers understand a baby's needs just as well as mothers? Sure they do, and they can also have a great bond with their children, as long as they decide to. A study examined the ability of mothers and fathers to identify their own baby's cries from different babies, and it was found that this was directly related to the amount of time the father spent with the baby correctly identifying the cries. crying. Other research found that hormone levels in parents seem to be affected when they hear that their baby is crying and that hormone levels influence how they respond to their little ones' crying.
We also know that while there are some subtle differences in the way mothers and fathers show understanding of their baby's thoughts and motivation, andThe degree to which they do so is a sure predictor of the relationship they will have with their children, so it is important that there is a connection of both fathers and mothers with their babies.
So while more research is needed, the evidence so far suggests that the argument that biological mothers have a stronger bond than fathers is difficult to justify. Due to factors such as prenatal bonding, hormones, experiences, and even childhood experiences themselves interact with each other to influence the bonds between parents and children. The strength of relationships has nothing to do with whether one is a father or a mother but rather, the affective bond that is worked with babies. A father who is with his baby for much of the day is not the same as a father who does not take care of the child at all and delegates all the work to the mother. This behavior, in addition to being obsolete, must be eradicated since babies need the care of both their father and their mother to guarantee a good emotional bond.
What makes the relationships between parents and children appropriate and that there is a good bond is not known exactly and there would be a lack of answers to answer, but it is necessary to work on experiences with the children and understand and respond to their needs from the moment they are born . Being with the baby and getting involved in parenting is the first step to having a good emotional bond.