Free Range Kids: Are you ready to give freedom to our daughters and our sons?

This article on Tree Hugger He yells at us a 'little' secret that we adults insist on denying, but of course, reality is very stubborn and goes beyond our perceptions ... "Children spend less time outside than prisoners" It is titled, and its author (Katherine Martinko) has no qualms in stating that any inmate in a maximum security center in the United States has one hour in the morning and another in the afternoon outdoors, while the little ones are too busy: not only during school hours, but in countless extracurricular and complementary activities, in addition to doing homework.

That is on the other side of the Atlantic, because if I tell you the number of hours outside that a prisoner has in a 'normal' regime in our country (and be careful! I'm not saying they don't have the right), and you compare them with those of your daughters and sons, your mouth is open and you don't close it. Now it would be easy for me if that phrase escaped me that we sometimes utter almost accidentally: “some schools look like prisons”; but no, the post you are reading is not about this, it is about presenting you a movement that you may already know, And although it started in the US, we have also heard about it here. Do you know what the 'free range kids' are?

It is a project whose main objective is "to return the street to the children, but also to take the children out of the houses and return them to the streets." As Tonucci would say (and I cannot express it better) “40, 50, 60 years ago, little was known about children: the elders had to take care of them, yes, but it was not used to interfere in the decisions they made about their free time". This NO interventionism gave rise to healthy adults, who have known how to direct their own lives, and who acquired personal autonomy and independence long before the age of 25.

We have changed the street for closed spaces ...

Currently, children do not go to school alone until they are 13 years old or older, and I sincerely believe that inhibiting free contact with the street at an early age, it does nothing but hamper children's ability and abilities to care for themselves. But, in addition to taking away the streets (which are theirs by right, or at least they are shared), when they are younger we confine them in small reserves of children.

By reservations I mean urban parks, squares, closed establishments with attractions, etc; and not happy with it, we supervise every movement to the point of giving them instructions to jump down the slide. I understand that there is no mother or father in the world who does not think about the well-being of their children, and on the other hand, sometimes we just follow a “fashion”; That is why it is not my intention to blame, but rather that we reflect together. That we should listen more to the basic needs of girls and boys is clear, but at the same time it is necessary to explore our own fears.

Worse parents for setting their sons and daughters free?

Leonore Skenazy (pioneer and creator of the Free Range Kids project) first, and then others, among which are the MeitivThey have been the object of numerous criticisms, and even of police interventions (yes, as you read it). The first did not hesitate to agree to her son's request when he was 9 years old: he wanted his parents to take him to an unknown place in the city, and then allow him to go home alone. Said and done, the boy stayed in a subway station with a map in hand, a ticket and money to spend: he returned home safe and sound; Why should it have happened differently?

Skenazy is a columnist for a New York newspaper and after publishing her experience, she earned the nickname "America's worst mother." For society, the 'opinionologists', or simply those who (stripped of a critical sense) analyzed the story of this mother, the parents who mistreat their children, or those who buy them console games for 18 years (when they are 8), or the ones that give them hamburgers to eat and pasta to eat every day… they are better. But listen to me: is that it is not about dividing ourselves into good or bad, but about being better every day (overcoming mistakes), and above all about looking at childhood as well, to ensure a healthy development.

By the way, the Meitiv couple (mentioned above) were acquitted of negligence after law enforcement found it inappropriate for their 6 and 10-year-old children to be alone on the streets. Doesn't it seem excessive to you that they had to go through this process?

Fear is not a good counselor.

Leonore was reviewing the crime rates for New York City, it was in 2009 and she discovered that they had not increased in decades. I do not know the data in our country, and its evolution over time, but I agree with her that tragedies that occur to minors are rare; and I would have to qualify to refer to those unspeakable fears that mothers and fathers have regarding kidnappings, disappearances or rapes. It is clear that the 'loss of the streets' has also brought greater risks of being run over, but it's not those dangers that Skenazy was referring to.

I do not know very well the programming of the television networks that we can see here, but (for example) if we watch "Criminal Minds", "CSI", or movies about disappearances, and we think that in reality everything is like that, we will sweat every time the children want to go for bread alone.

And not just series or movies, the news usually only shows the worst side of society, and we end up locked in our worlds, fearing our neighbor. Instead we should go back to the community, to try to reverse a process that has been accelerated. Confidence in others begins by disarming our own fears, freedom also helps us to better choose the people who share upbringing and education with us.

This "worst mother" that I would not have qualified that way, was also harshly judged by families whose children had suffered one of these tragedies. They have every right to be angry with the world, but the responsibility for these things to happen does not belong to those who fight to give children more autonomy.

Real and avoidable dangers.

As many mothers and fathers who are asked about this issue say: “It is no longer that I think that behind the corner there is a bad person who can harm them, it is that there are many streets to the school, and no I know if it will look good ”. There is no one-size-fits-all solution, but it is necessary to repeat the basic safety and self-protection messages to children, so that they end up believing in them and putting them into practice. That is one of our best guarantees, to which we can add a community committed to childhood, which in difficult situations is capable of protecting.

Freedom or supervision?

I believe that children can manage themselves, although for this they must receive some suggestions or indications from their parents, let us also think that when they move in a group, take care of each other, and keep conflict at bay. Do not believe now that I am a bad mother, it just seems out of place to watch every minute of their lives, so that they do not stumble, avoid being the object of criticism, or so that they do not make mistakes.

It is that this way they would not grow, nor would they overcome their limitations, and they may even feel frustrated

At every age his is his: a 4-year-old cannot go to school alone, but won't you let him go at 7 if he goes with friends and the center is two blocks and five minutes away? And if you don't, what reasons do you have? You will not be worse or better than other parents, whether you lead him by the hand or allow him a little freedom. With this post - and I've already said it - I just want us to think a bit.

To counter this “movement” Free Range Kids, Kristen Howerton, tells us 'why she can't follow him'. You don't trust them to self-regulate their use of technology, you think they need social supervision, you don't want your children to enter other people's homes, you want your children to have self-discipline, and you need them to respect others.

Without wishing to refute his position, and to finish:

1. It is clear that with the devices there must be control at an early age, but also a lot of communication with children. If you do this, they are likely to find the balance themselves.
2. Social supervision? I think that leaving them free also implies that their behavior can be “regulated” by other people. But it is that free children are not the same as children who despise the environment in which they live.
3. Girls and boys will know from a young age which houses they can enter and which ones they cannot; The adults in those houses will also know that you authorize your own children, and there will be trust and reciprocity. But these things begin to be discussed before the age of five, gradually adapting language and incorporating recommendations.
4. Self-discipline? Well, there are many moments in family life when we can help them develop it; let's think on the other hand that some children in freedom collecting wood to make a hut, they are also disciplined, otherwise they would not finish the construction.
5. Respect is taught at home, but if they don't go out they can't put it into practice.

And now yes, I will finish with this tweet by Leonore Skenazy claiming one of the aspects related to children's freedom, with free play, with the enjoyment of their leisure: "the right to be bored"

Images - (First) Nicolas Alejandro Street Photography, (Fifth) Philippe put