If you want to help your children overcome obstacles on their own, it will be important that you provide them with the necessary tools so that they are able to do it and that you DO NOT do things for them. Practical involvement as a parent and teacher will help your child develop the skills necessary to cope with new or unpleasant tasks and overcome obstacles.
For example, If a child is disorganized at school he really needs to learn how to clean his room and most likely needs your participation to learn how to do it effectively. Working alongside him rather than for him teaches him what it takes to learn the necessary skills.
Or maybe your high school daughter proclaims her hatred for the reading she is forced to do. Offer to read a book with her so that you can talk about the topic, discussing the perspective of the topic. Your daughter will learn the enjoyment of reading and help her to think critically without doing it for her.
But we cannot deny that there are children whose behaviors can make this much more difficult. Children with learning disabilities, attention problems, academic problems, constant agitation, irritability ... They may have behaviors that make you have to be more consistent in their teaching skills. You will need to adapt the teaching of these skills depending on your child's needs.
You may have to explain things over and over until your child really understands what you are teaching. You can also find creative ways to teach and reinforce new skills, such as using graphs or tables of points. As you teach your child by example and teaching skills, your child will improve. Your child will become a capable and responsible person. Although it may seem like hard work, if it is done with perseverance it will have fruits that your children can reap in their lives.