To negotiate with a teenager you need calm and know him well. We know that adolescence is not an easy stage, neither for sons and daughters, nor for mothers. It is convenient find a balance between domestic and family everyday life, and their own interests. For her, you have to negotiate, and you have to do it on both sides.
Negotiating with a teenager It is not an easy task And sometimes trying to reach an agreement can lead to even more conflict and anxiety. We tell you some negotiation techniques that may be useful to you, but remember that the main thing is knowledge and Trust that you have with your son or daughter.
Important keys to negotiating with teens
Let's search that the adolescent look for la negociación. At first he will try to impose his criteria and we will hear that "you don't understand." Making him understand that if an agreement is reached, the situation will improve is the first step. If you are not willing to accept this negotiation, which in turn is a test of assuming a certain degree of freedom, accepting or rejecting options, then you will have to follow the rules.
The negotiation must take place in a neutral situation, doing it in the midst of anger and tantrums will get us nowhere. Neither the adolescent nor we mothers. Adults must always keep our word, it is the only way to keep the example. To negotiate, trust and consistency are essential.
And last but not least, know the interests of our son or daughter. This way we can better adapt to your needs and aspirations. At the same time to assess when it occurs. It is not the same to negotiate a weekend with friends if we know that it is the birthday of one of them than if it is a normal one, for example.
A couple of techniques that are good for trading
Each family is different, but there are certain techniques for negotiating with your adolescent that can help you, or that you can adapt. But beware! because no technique is infallible.
One of these techniques is "This is not everything". It basically consists of give him a benefit, before asking him a favor. For example, if you want to address the issue of dressing with them, something very tricky for a teenager (especially if he is a woman). Well, one possibility is to give them more mobile hours, or series, and when a reasonable amount of time has passed, then address the issue and ask them for the effort not to spend so much on clothes or not dressed in that way.
Technique of "Slammed the door in the face." With this technique, the first thing is that we are clear about our objective, and make a bigger request of what we want to achieve. We know that you will not accept and that is where the negotiation begins. By giving in, he or she will also reciprocate with us. One of the advantages of this type of negotiation is that the adolescent feels more responsible for the decision made. It is important to close the negotiation in the same conversation. One piece of advice, haggle a bit, it's the famous one: not for you, not for me.
Other ways to negotiate with a teenager
You can ask him for a favor that seems insignificant to both of you, ridiculous, very small, but related to what we want to achieve. For example, if we want you to visit your grandparents, you can ask them to come on the phone while you talk to them, just to say hello. Probably he himself realizes the ridiculousness of the favor and contributes more than what has been asked of him.
Another idea is offer you a product in very good condition, so that it is irresistible to you. Example, we go to the beach for the weekend and you take a couple of friends. If you want to get it, we ask you for an initial cost, for example: you have to clean and tidy up your room. The funny thing is that when they accept they are able to continue doing other things. For the adolescent, the reward, if he really wants it, is so important that he will make an effort to get it.
There are other techniques, each family and in each case you can apply one or the other. It is clear that what worked for the oldest child may not work for the next, which is why it is so important to know the individuals.