Assertiveness is a necessary skill for a correct development of our social skills. Thanks to assertiveness we are able to relate to each other in an appropriate way without affecting our self-esteem. That is why it is so important to encourage this skill in children. We leave you some tips for encourage assertiveness in children.
What is assertiveness?
Assertiveness is the ability to communicate or express an idea, desire or feeling correctly, that is, without imposing our ideas and without harming the other. This allows us to have more positive personal relationships and to be able to talk about problems without fear of the reaction of others. It is a good way to deal with problems by facing them from the beginning and communicating them, allowing you to find a solution.
When we communicate something that we do not like and we do it incorrectly, we generate more conflict and discomfort. Our message has not reached our listener, and they are defensive because they have only heard complaints and nothing else. That is why assertiveness is so important, thanks to it we can communicate something that we do not like by sending our message and that the other person does not get angry.
The basis of assertiveness is respect both own and others and self esteem. And to promote this ability in children we must start from a very young age at home.
Assertiveness in children
Like all skills, they can be worked on and improved. If we work on them, the easier assertiveness will be for them tomorrow to use it naturally than if they learned it when they were older. It's a wonderful resource to have good personal relationships, without being passive with problems and without disrespecting others. It allows us to express ourselves without fear of being rejected.
Thanks to assertiveness they will have a tool to defend your ideas, emotions or thoughts without attacking. They will not be so influenced by others, it allows them to be more empathetic and respectful, they will know how to say no to others and they will know how to defend themselves against attacks. Let's look at some tips to promote assertiveness in children.
How to encourage assertiveness in children
- Educate from respect. You are the first person who must be assertive, communicating your thoughts, ideas and emotions correctly. Observe how you communicate with others, are you assertive, or are you rather passive or aggressive? You can see the article "10 tips to be more assertive".
- Listen to him. Let him know that your opinion, thoughts and wishes are taken into account and are valuable.
- Teach him to express his feelings. If children get used to talking about their emotions from a young age, it will be easier for them to do so when they are older. It allows them to identify their emotions, become aware of them and know how to express them. Let him know that his emotions are important, even if they are lived in unpleasant ways. All emotions have a function and are valid.
- Boosts their self-esteem. As we saw above, self-esteem is the foundation of assertiveness. If you have low self-esteem it is very difficult to be assertive, since you will seek the approval of others in everything you do and say, and it will be very difficult to communicate situations that you do not like. Do not miss the article "How to promote self-esteem in children".
- Teach him to say no. It is necessary to know how to say no without feeling guilty in order to develop assertiveness. Setting limits allows us to take care of ourselves and not let ourselves be trampled on by the interests of others. Gives us security and skills to know how to respect our value and interests before others.
- No to violence. Many parents encourage their children to defend themselves from violence at school with more violence. This is a very dangerous cycle that must be nipped in the bud. We must show him that it is aggressive behavior that cannot be tolerated, and that he must leave the situation and ask for help.
Because remember ... the development of assertiveness will depend on the success of your socio-emotional development.