Around 24 months, parents notice a change in their children. Is a stage of changes very similar to adolescence, where they discover the word no and the power of tantrums. They stop being babies to be children, but they don't know how to do it either. That is why it is important to understand that it is normal for all children to go through and how to set limits for 2-year-olds.
The 2 years
2 years is a stage that many psychologists refer to as the "Preadolescence". They will try to push you to the limit to see how far they can go, they will throw tantrums that they did not do before and they will mount scandals to get what they want.
As parents our job is help them in this process of change, accompanying them and setting clear limits. Let's see what is the use of setting limits on children.
Mark limits
The limits are necessary for the correct emotional development of children. They must learn that sometimes not everything is as we want and that you have to adapt to the circumstances. If we give him everything or allow him to do what he wants, he will get frustrated when he comes to real life and sees that life is not as he believed. Will make them be more resilient, confident, flexible, mature and respectful. They will develop proper self-esteem and will know what can and cannot be done. That is why it is necessary to set limits.
To set limits, they must be adapted to the age, personality and development of the child, since not all children are the same. From 18 months, children are already capable of learning basic rules.
How can you limit 2-year-olds?
- Give him tasks he can do. Eating and dressing alone for example will make them feel older and more independent. It will give them security knowing that they can do things on their own.
- Boundaries must be clear and concise. Avoid abstract rules such as "behave yourself", they should be clear and concrete rules.
- May your body language accompany the no. You can't tell him he can't do something and be laughing, because it won't have any effect. You must be firm in all your language, both verbal and non-verbal.
- Punishment is not a good option. It is one thing to educate accordingly and another to educate with punishments. You can see our article «Punish or educate accordingly? Where we explain everything in detail.
- Do not give. Both parents should be firm with limits even when throwing a tantrum in public. You have to maintain your standards to ensure that they are met. You can read the article "How to respectfully handle tantrums" for more information.
- Change negative phrases for positive ones. Instead of constantly telling him what he can't do, tell him what he can do. Instead of saying "don't leave the whole room messy" say "put away your toys."
- The limits and rules must always be from love. Do not yell at, or threaten, or ever hit, or they will learn that aggressiveness can get things done.
- Must make consensus among parents. To achieve this, both parents must agree to the rules and inform the family what they are in order to comply.
- Put routines. The schedules are also rules that must be respected. Baths, meals, bedtime is important to keep.
- Don't try to reason. They are too young to understand your reasoning, with clear and concise rules you don't have to give much more explanation.
- Anticipate things. For example, tell him to pick up his toys because in a while he will have to bathe. That way you won't be caught out of the blue.
Two years is the age of discovery. Your child is discovering the world and still doesn't know what to do and what not to do. It will be you as parents who should guide
Because remember… children need limits to feel safe.