Talking about sex can be quite a taboo subject for parents around the world. They feel that their children are innocent creatures and that talking about sex with them is wrong. But in reality, only the approach you give it matters, since it is not bad and even necessary.
Of course, you will have to know how to talk to your children about sex depending on their age. The goal is for them to feel totally natural when talking about these issues, so that in the future they can talk to you about any issue that concerns them regarding this, without taboos or fears.
Maybe you have some questions; what should boys call their private parts? How do you explain to your children where babies come from? Do you have to talk to your kids about puberty? When is the best time to talk about sex? The sooner you feel comfortable talking about this topic with your children, the more fluid your conversations with them will become. If you don't know where to start, then don't miss this guide to talking to your children about sex, no matter how old they are.
Boys and girls from 0 to 3 years old
At this age children are exploring their bodies and are beginning to become aware of their gender and are curious about the differences between boys and girls. At this age it is necessary to have a serious but discreet and open tone about sexuality. It is normal for children to touch their genitals to explore it and even babies and young children can have frequent erections, but it has nothing to do with sexual connotations, it is simply developing. If your son touches his genitals, don't get mad or scold him, just talk casually about it.
Teach your children that genitals have names and that this is what they should be called. Don't invent weird names, the penis is a penis and the vulva is a vulva. If you use the right terms, you will be empowering your child to speak freely about medical issues, and to know about and report sexual abuse without feeling that it is taboo.
You can start talking about the genitals when they are 2 years old, so start calling these parts by name: penis and testicles for the male genitalia and vulva and vagina for the female genitalia. Vulva is the name for the general area of smooth skin that covers the female genitalia; the vagina is technically the actual vaginal canal; it explains both terms so that the children become familiar with them and do not feel that it is a taboo subject.
Young children love to be naked at home and that doesn't have to be a bad thing. But explain to your child which parts are private (the parts covered by a bathing suit, for example, and his mouth), and tell him that it's not okay to show or touch his private parts in public or touch the private parts of others people.
Boys and girls from 4 to 5 years old
At this age they may start to wonder where babies come from, they may also start to be more curious about their own and opposite gender. Don't worry too much about your child's interest in this, also at this age they can touch their genitals without any sexual connotation, they are simply interested. Although he can play doctor with his friends, you need to make it clear that touching other people's private parts is not okay and that it is better to play with toys. Acting out sexually in an inappropriate way, such as imitating or drawing pictures of intercourse or oral sex, can be a sign of sexual abuse, so be aware of this and act accordingly.
At this age it is essential to explain to children that no one, neither friends nor family, can touch their private parts and that if someone does, they will have to tell you immediately. Only doctors can do it in front of you, never in private. Only parents can touch the genitals for cleaning or to treat some kind of pain.
You can look for natural moments to talk about sex, such as bath time or if you get pregnant... Even if you don't overdo the details, children at this age don't need to know details because they won't understand, just answer their specific questions with an simple and honesta answer, like: "Mommies have a little egg inside of them and daddies have something called sperm that makes the egg grow into a baby inside mommy. The baby comes out of the mother's vagina. That's how many animals have babies too."
Boys and girls from 6 to 7 years old
At this age it is very important that they learn limits. You'll want to know exactly how women's and men's bodies differ, how babies are actually made, and what happens sexually in adults. They will also learn to put limits on their own body.
You will need to continue to answer their questions simply and honestly without going into too much detail. You can use age-appropriate books to help him better understand human reproduction.
You need to teach your children to protect themselves from sexual abuse and learn to set limits for their body and personal safety. If your child, for example, doesn't like being tickled or being seen naked, allow one of her rules to know how to say NO to anything that has to do with her body.
It is also time to start talking to children about the wonder of love and loving relationships. so that they learn that love is connected to sexuality once they are older. Show affection and respect towards your partner, remember that your children are seeing everything and it is up to you that tomorrow they learn to have a healthy romantic relationship with their partners. The lessons and values that are learned at this age will stay with your children when they grow up and become adults.