Life is not always rosy and sometimes things happen that we don't like and that scare us. Theft is something that happens regularly and children cannot understand why other people can steal something that does not belong to them. When a pet is lost, a bomb threat, when they enter the house to steal, when a family member dies… these are unpleasant situations that are difficult to deal with.
The negative things that happen usually tend to heal over time, but when there is an emotional charge towards something, it is possible that children and adults may feel that that wound is still a little open. But avoiding topics doesn't help children. Children need to talk and know what happens, why it happened, and what will happen next. There are things in life that can be scary, but your children need you to be the one to talk to them about those things. If you don't know how to do it, follow the tips below.
Face your own feelings first
You cannot talk to your children to reassure them of something when it is affecting you emotionally a lot. That would make them more uneasy. You must remain calm so that your child can feel it And do not be scared more than necessary, this does not mean that if he ever has to see you crying, do not do it. People have feelings and if something affects us, we must cry to feel better, this is not bad for your child to see it.
But when I mean that you must control your feelings first, I mean that you must control the words you use to explain to your child what is happening. Try to keep in mind that you should choose a language according to the age of your child so that he can understand what you are explaining to him.
There are no rules but you have to transmit calm
There are no specific rules on how you should inform your child about what is happening at any given time., or how you should explain a tragedy when it has happened. You can assess the emotions you feel about what happened and this way you can talk to them during the day about what happened.
In case you do not talk to your children, they could hear different versions that make them feel confused and not understand well what is happening. Children follow the example of their parents and if they see you nervous or very restless, that same sensation will be experienced by them, and they may feel fear.
Answer their questions
Children are likely to ask questions about things they don't understand about what happened, but adults don't always have the answers. This may lead you to give your children different theories about what happened, and this is not a bad thing. You can tell him that you don't have the answers but you have an idea about what happened.
You must resist the idea of giving subjective opinions and stick to the facts, you must explain what has happened in a way that your child can understand according to his age. Children do not need to see pictures, videos or anything that could disturb their peace of mind. It's more, I advise you to limit the media exposure when something happens since the news usually broadcast the last hour all the time.
Children need to know what happened, where and when. You should be honest in what you explain and sincere in your questions. If a deadly tragedy has occurred and people have died and others are injured, you must tell them the truth. Lies will get you nowhere and if your child discovers the truth and that you have not been sincere, he will not be able to trust you or your arguments.
It transmits calm and tranquility
Unfortunately parents cannot protect our children from all possible threats that occur in the world, but you can ensure your protection by talking about what is happening, transmitting values and helping them understand that you have to be careful in the world.
You should talk to him about the things that happen in your town or in the city, especially when things happen that are talked about and discussed on the street or in the news. It is necessary to know the resources available if something goes wrong, tell your child that if he is ever afraid, he should go to an adult, that the police, the firefighters, the doctors, the nurses, the armed forces are there ... as a society we tend to help each other and to protect each other, but that later there are also people who are not good that we must distrust so that they do not harm us. But You must give him the confidence that you can always look for a solution and seek help even in the most difficult moments.
Listen to their fears
It is necessary that you pay attention to the words of your children, to their fears ... do not downplay their emotions and understand each of the things they say to you. Don't try to dispel their fears by saying that everything will be fine. The reality is that when something bad happens it reminds us that we are all vulnerable at some point And you should make your child feel that being scared or scared is totally normal. Ask your child about his fears so that you can work on them and give him the calm and security he needs.
Most of the people are good
Although it is true that there are bad people in the world, the reality is that most people are good. People try to help to ease the pain, so you should remind your children that there are many wonderful people in the world and that it is not necessary to be suspicious because something bad has ever happened. It is necessary to be cautious, but without becoming obsessed. Children must feel safe in this world and remain children.
How do you talk to your children about things that may scare them, such as tragedies, robberies or accidents?