I have a feeling that writing articles on fathers, mothers, parenting, and educational styles is now fashionable. But there has come a point where I see all these posts and all these excessive opinions. I understand that teachers, pedagogues and experts are scared by what is currently called hyperpaternity (overprotecting children to the extreme) but there are situations that can be greatly exaggerated.
For example, we entered the subject of the dreaded homework. Are families in the hyperpaternity group if they want to help their children with homework? I think that in order to reach that conclusion, the situation of each family and each child would have to be analyzed. But I don't consider that all parents who help children with homework have to be labeled in that group. So what happens?
Adjust the amount of homework
When I pass my little neighbors in the doorway I always like to ask them how the day was. They almost always tell me the same thing: "Jo, Mel, we've been sent a lot homework. And then we have to study. There are fathers and mothers who they have asked teachers to reduce homework but to no avail. And they have reached the point where they don't know what to do.
And they do not know what to do because they see their children from when they leave school until (on many occasions) almost dinner time. Given this, many parents have decided to help children with homework so they can have more time to do what they like. Is that hyperpaternity? I do not think so. I believe that the basic problem is not the help of parents. But it is the excess of tasks.
Helping kids with homework is not overprotective
"Homework is for students to review the content and assimilate it." Possibly, that phrase is said by some teachers and professors. But an excess of repetitive tasks does not help the students in anything. There are hundreds of review activities that can be useful to students (neuroeducational games, word searches, crosswords, games on educational platforms on the Internet ...).
I doubt very much that parents help their children with homework to protect them. I doubt very much that they do it so that they do not make an effort and so that they have fewer responsibilities (eye, I'm not saying that there are no parents who do it for that but I do not think it is the general) And I doubt very much that parents help their children with parents because they do not see them capable.
Therefore, for me there is no problem with parents helping children with homework when they see that the tasks are excessive and that they will not have any spare time for them. But helping with homework doesn't mean that parents do the exercises for their children. It means that they are there to solve possible doubts that may arise.
And what happens when hyperpaternity does occur?
As I said before, there may be cases of parents who are preventing their children from making an effort. Yes, there are parents who are overprotective by avoiding any type of failure or frustration. And there are also parents who can help their children with their homework for fear of mistakes, mistakes or because they go too slowly. In those situations, it could be said that hyperpaternity is taking place.
There are parents who want (and even yearn) for their children to be perfect. That desire goes as far as being able to do their homework so that the teachers can see the educational level and intelligence of the children. In some cases, there are parents who have gotten angry with teachers for seeing errors in the results of exercises that they themselves had told their children.
In this way, parents make children believe that failure is a bad thing and that they can never make mistakes. And when they do, a great frustration is generated in them that it is very possible to manage. Not to mention the feeling of discomfort, overwhelm and stress that trying to be perfect causes.
The effort is present with the help of parents
In short: I do not consider helping children with homework to be hyperpartinity. If the parents are simply there to support me, I don't see where the problem is.
Providing help with homework does not mean that children do not have to strain.
Furthermore, many parents take advantage of homework so that their children learn to investigate or seek information on their own. In this way, they are promoting analytical skills, critical thinking and creativity. And it seems good to me that parents help their children develop these concepts.