Tantrums are the natural way for children to show their frustration with something that is happening that does not seem appropriate for them to happen. When your child is in the middle of a tantrum, it is very easy for you as a mother to also enter into your own crisis as well ... it seems that this state of nerves is contagious. Pero nothing is further from the truth, your son is trying to tell you what is wrong And if you go into a crisis, it is because you are not listening to everything he needs, nor are you guiding him to find calm.
Tantrums are a reality in childhood and parents must find a way to deal with them without causing their children an emotional problem. There are simple strategies that can help make tantrums go away., but always from the cooperation and respect towards the child. Young children (between 1 and 4 years old) have not yet developed enough skills to be able to communicate a need to an adult (I want a toy, I am hungrier, I need a diaper change, something bothers me, etc.) since they don't have the language skills to do it.
When children do not know how to express their needs they feel frustrated and that is why they throw tantrums… they seem like a power struggle, but they just want to convey their need. It is necessary that you know how to contain these outbursts with love and respect, so that your child feels listened to, understood and above all, guided for good behavior.
Don't try to control him
When a child has a tantrum, the last thing you should try is to control him. Your little one is out of control because emotions have completely taken over. Unable to make decisions or make judgments while in this angry state. You will need to wait for your young child to calm down to be able to talk with him and find the best solutions. When he is having a tantrum, don't give him what he wants, but don't completely ignore him either. Find a way to calm him down from affection; You can leave him his own space without leaving the scene, tell him that when he is calm you will look for options, offer him a hug to calm him down, etc.
Find out what happens to your child
If your little one has a tantrum, it is because something is wrong and you should know what it is in order to better guide the situation. Children will not be able to tell you well what is happening to them because they have too limited a vocabulary and that is why you must get to know what is happening to them to free them from their frustration. You can teach your young child keywords so that he can tell you what happens to him such as: more, water, sleep, food, pupa ... I can assure you that when a child has a limited vocabulary, this strategy is very important.
You can also find out what's wrong by thinking about what's going on. For example, maybe you've gone for a walk all day and your child hasn't had time to nap? You may be tired. Or perhaps instead of trying to find out, you can ask your child to tell you what is happening to him so that he will point it out to you.
Do not burden him
In order not to overwhelm a child who is having a tantrum, you need to provide her own space whenever she needs it. There are children who need to get past their anger in order to feel better, just make sure that at the moment when they are angry there is nothing around them that could cause them harm. But you should be by his side all the time, but leaving him his own space. Try to get him to understand his feelings, to regain his spirits by your side, and to regain control of himself with your help. Do not enter a power struggle, choose your battles well and prioritize the emotional well-being of your little one.
Make things fun
When your child wants to participate in an activity with you, don't scold him because he doesn't know how to do things well and try to help him learn while having fun. For example, if you are in the kitchen and your child wants to help you but is too young, you can give him small instructions so that he feels useful and happy to be doing things with you, such as throwing things away or putting ingredients in a container. .
Detect possible crises
A mother (and father) can prevent a crisis before it happens if it can be detected early. If your child is about to go to a part of the store that you do not want him to go because he is going to take things that he should not and he is going to cry because you are not going to buy it, the best thing you can do is change the aisle or not go to that store and go to another. Although if you must go through that area, you can divert their attention by talking about something else or diverting your attention to other things that may interest him and that is not the reason for a possible tantrum ... but you should give emotion to your words so that he feels motivated to divert attention to where you are leading him.
Never (never!) Use aggression
Neither physical nor verbal. Aggression towards a child, in addition to being a crime, does not educate! It will only make the little one feel fear and feel a terrible feeling of emotional abandonment by their parents that will seriously damage their personal, social and emotional development. If you ever feel the need to hit him, leave the room and breathe deeply long enough to calm down. and to reconsider what exactly you want your child to learn. Then go back to where your child is and with a loving and kind tone, you should provide the guidance he needs to know what you expect of him in terms of his behavior.
These are some tips that you can use in your day to day to control the tantrums of your children and that in this way you can live in a wonderful family harmony.