Many households do not have enough rooms and children have to share a bedroom. Sometimes a shared environment is an option, and other times, it is a necessity. After all, not every household has one bedroom per child.
However Either by choice or by necessity, some problems may appear that you will have to solve so that there is a good coexistence between the children. Children should have their own space and also moments for solitude. What if they have different times to go to sleep? What if they fight over shared items or the space itself?
Sharing a room with a sibling does not have to be harmful at all, it can even be highly beneficial for children. It is necessary that some parenting keys are known so that children can share the bedroom in harmony. Discover some problems with their solutions when children share a room ... Because you can and they will like to do it.
Problems and solutions when children share a room
Bedtime
If your children are different ages, you shouldn't force them to go to bed at the same time. Younger children will have to go to bed earlier than their older siblings. Children should be able to go to bed when it is developmentally appropriate, otherwise, the older siblings may resent and also begin to create a negative bond with the younger sibling, who will be accused of being the culprit of having to go to bed too early.
But also, it is better that they go to bed at different times to avoid talking or playing too long. For example, when the little ones are already asleep, the older ones can start getting ready to go to bed. The story can be read to her outside the bedroom and after she goes in to bed.
If the children are the same age, it is advisable to create some routines for going to bed in which both know what to do at all times before going to bed. For example, you can put a little white noise to minimize distractions and to fall asleep calmly and quietly.
Personal space
While many children like to share space with their siblings, they don't always want to share their things. If there are no doors to define your space or possessions, things can get complicated and even without a delimited space there can be discussions. Although this can be avoided with some recommendations.
Each child must have their own space in the bedroom. This can be as small as a shelf or drawer or as large as separate nightstands or dressers. Children need to have their own private areas. In addition, it is important that you learn to ask permission to sit on children's beds so that they feel they have control over their own space. It will be like knocking on the door and asking before entering.
If children are very old, it is important that parents do their part and build shelves where babies or young children do not reach or offer space to the child in another room to store some of their things. If space is really a problem, you can keep the older brother's things until the little one is old enough to understand the limits. Respect for the things of others is essential for a good coexistence within the same space.
Privacy
Especially when a child shares a room with a sibling of the opposite sex, privacy can become an issue as they grow older. Ideally, from the age of six, children could have their own rooms to have their privacy, but not all families have this option.
The solution in this case is to set explicit limits around privacy. For example, changing clothes in the bathroom, being flexible in some rules, putting up a screen or curtains to be able to change inside the bedroom, etc.
When conflicts arise
While conflicts over toys or the exchange of clothes can be very normal between siblings, the proximity of being in a room each day can cause other types of conflicts to exist as well. Many of the conflicts are caused by daily friction such as touching or picking up things that belong to the brother. It may also be that one sibling blames the other for the disorder or other conflicts.
To solve these possible conflicts it is necessary to establish rules and consequences when the norms are not followed. The rules in the bedroom is very important to establish them as soon as possible so that they know what they have to do at all times. The consequences will depend on each family, but it is something very important to keep in mind so that children comply with the rules. For example, a rule may be to always ask for permission before picking up something that does not belong to you.
The transition to the bedroom
If your kids haven't shared a room since they were little, putting them in the same bedroom can be a challenge. In order to make the transition, the decoration will have to be changed a little, with a little paint, some new bedspreads and even new furniture if necessary (so that both have their space).
When the children are older, perhaps at the age of 9 or 10 they want to have their own bedroom, but if this is not possible, they should be honest with the children and tell them that it is not possible due to lack of space but that this does not have to affect your privacy or identity. There will always be ways to find solutions to possible conflicts, respecting the children and thinking about their privacy. Respecting their interests, their tastes and their needs. Sharing a bedroom with siblings can be really beneficial, they will learn to share their life, their things and respect others within their own home.
Excellent post, my children shared a room until the little girl was 9 and a half years old, when she preferred to have her own bedroom. They are still sleeping together on the bunk in the room that saw them grow up when relatives come home. I think it has been a good experience. They are a boy and a girl, by the way, and I think they were lucky that they were given that opportunity… I know families that do not allow children (even of the same sex) to sleep in the same room; It is not a trial, but it could go against the freedom of the little ones to choose. It amazes me a lot because I don't remember having slept alone other than in the student flat when I was studying at the University (and sometimes I also shared a bed there), I have always been accompanied by my mother or brothers, friends, partner, children ... Each person is a world, but spending the night in company (except if it is very hot 😀) is beautiful.
Thank you!