Locking a child in a room is neglect, and that is why it is considered abuse

These days we have learned that the Provincial Court of Valencia has ruled to revoke the dismissal of an archived case. It all started with the complaint by some parents of the mistreatment that their two-year-old baby had suffered in a nursery school in that city. As you can imagine, there has been quite a stir, and generated a lot of controversy. The child was not the only one who suffered abuse of power by the caregivers of the nursery, as there were several who received punishments standing or staying alone in a dark and locked classroom (a horror, come on…).

The families trust a priori in the professionalism of the teaching staff who take care of the girls and boys in their different educational stages; I would also like that in addition to having been trained to educate and care for babies, children and adolescents, were emotionally able to take care of complex and highly sensitive beings that as they grow up they present different psychological, social, physical and cultural needs.

I say this because (now I am not referring to the specific issue at hand) I have known more than one case in which I have had to ask myself “what does this person know about child psychology?”. It is always said that doing these jobs requires a lot of motivation, but also a lot of stability and "knowing how to be", since the intended protection can easily turn into emotional damage to students.

To get into the subject, I can assure you that locking a child (2, 8 or 12 years old) in a dark place, and doing it as punishment is very degrading, but it is also negligent because it neglects the attention of a fundamental need. This need could be attention to emotions: those automatic mechanisms that we use in response to external stimuli.

And since the attention (let alone management) of emotions is one of the great forgotten in education, I would suggest that we perceive them as allies, even in situations in which the child, by age, is subject to stress, or for whatever reason, is unable to offer adequate responses. In my opinion, this is where the value of an educational professional would be seen, who - in addition - is an adult, and therefore more capable of understanding their students.

Punish by locking up?

Wow, the repressive education that the elderly have received for years is still worth it, and even worse!, are legion the people who rely on punishment (including physical) as an educational method, when it is not. You just have to read some comments in reviews of the news: there are those who deny the facts ("my nephews have gone there, it is not possible for such a thing to happen"), who drops that "a slap in time is the most adequate, they gave it to me and nothing has happened to me ”(ahem ... Doesn't justifying violence mean that physical punishment has left its mark?), Etc.

For the moment, society as a whole, he still does not know what the impact of abuse of any kind is on the lives of children: in current life and in the future. As an example I will tell you that, among other consequences, what is known as the hypothesis of the reproduction of abuse can happen, about which there is still much discussion, although Green (in 1998) confirmed it. In other words, the abusive child mistreats other people over the years, and that would be a compelling reason for us to consider a profound change in relationships with the little ones. But it is also the possibility of toxic stress, and other effects that we are not going to deal with now.

I always advise that if common sense fails us and we lose sight of the true sense of protecting minors, let's imagine a potentially harmful act for a child, as if it were to be exerted on an adult person. To you who read me, think about the following, "on Monday your boss gets angry with you because you talk a lot and annoy your colleagues, then he takes you to the dark room and leaves you there for an hour", what humiliation! What anger! What sadness! truth?". For a child, a baby in this case! It is much worse, among other things because it trusts its caregivers, and also does not have the same notion of time as you. What if what is 30 minutes for you for that little one had been 2 hours? Phew!

Violence causes a lot of suffering, and abuse is violence

We still educate in fear

We want books to disappear and our children learn by projects, we want more ICT resources in the classrooms, we want a modern system at the level of other countries, and above all at the level of the needs of some students who will compete in a different job market to which we have found ourselves.

And looking forward to all those beautiful changes ... We forget that we STILL educate in fear (parents and teachers) consciously or unconsciously; And of course, fear is the opposite of love, which girls and boys need so much. It is also necessary that we focus on the objective of eradicating fear, because (and Valeria will talk about this soon) it is the great ally of learned helplessness, which blocks action and greatly increases the psychological vulnerability of the youngest. You don't want that for your kids, do you?

I am against the systems of punishments and rewards in any educational relationship, but to punish in the face of the wall or lock up ... it is that really, how hard it is to know that similar events are happening all over the world. Whoever punishes has little confidence in their potential, but it also causes the minor to stop trusting him. We do not need to tame or dominate children to get along with them.

The right of parents to report.

From any mother, from any father, who knows that his son has been or is being harassed by a teacher, that he is suffering from abuse of power, that's good! We don't have to spoil it, but children are what we love the most! As I have read, the lawyer for the educational center denies the evidence, even though a former student at the nursery school confirmed at the time the suspicions of the parents. And by the way, speaking of that 'abuse of power that I mention', Mel tells us more about him in this blog post..

Psychological reports that no child should go through revealed what at his age he was not able to express with words, although (probably) with a visible change in behavior. It's time for parents to take these things seriously, and let's protect our offspring, because events like the one we are talking about will not happen in all places (I hope), but it is a right to demand responsibilities.

And in turn, I think that it is a right of the little ones that their caregivers know how to take care of them when they cry, feel uncomfortable, sad ... For example, it does not make much sense to pretend that at 2 years they magically take a nap and everyone at one hour. There must be solutions that are good for everyone, and in this "everyone" I also include students.

I believe that a kindergarten, a nursery and primary school, a secondary school, have to be welcoming and safe places for their students. What do they go there to learn? Well, yes, but above all they will develop as people, and what kind of person can someone become who is degraded or insulted?