Reading about breastfeeding is not the same as feeling it in such an intimate way.
There are many of us who champion breastfeeding and prolonged lactation, and not only that, but the idea that mother and son are the ones who have the last word on the subject. The mother's role in the process can be involved in intense feelings when others interfere. You will find out which ones below.
There are the feelings of sadness and loneliness when you are mothers, let alone if you choose to breastfeed your child. The loop in which a woman and mother is immersed can be exhausting, not only because of everything she carries behind her back: home, work, raising a child ..., but because the family environment and society are positioned before her to give an opinion, judge and decide, or at least try constantly.
When a woman decides to be a mother, she does so convinced and sure that she wants to face a new, beautiful and at the same time very difficult stage. When you decide to be a mother with a couple, obviously you talk between the two of you. Between the two, many of the subsequent teachings that will be applied to the child are decided, but we must not forget that they are all conjectures and previous ideas. Being a mother, understanding, valuing, exercising ..., until you hold the baby in your arms, you look at it and you know it, you don't know anything. Until that precise moment, you cannot choose one way or the other.
This is where the problem is established. On the one hand, those who expected you to act in a way, or who had agreed with you on certain decisions, they may feel cheated after the changes they observe in your actions. As I mean, the woman may think that she will do things in one way, but this cannot be firm at face value, without counting on variables that are known from the birth of the baby.
A woman may assume that she will breastfeed for three or four months, that she will not have him in her own bed, but It is not the same to think about it as to live it, feel it, have the responsibility of a being. Breastfeeding seems cold when it is talked about, but a mother, in general, who begins to breastfeed, goes to another emotional dimension and does not find really necessary reasons to stop doing it.
The environment and society regarding breastfeeding
Being a mother is the most wonderful thing there is, but it can be exhausting. In women, mental and physical strength must be consistent, so that it does not weaken. If, added to the new stage itself, you add breastfeeding a child, then the emotional burden can exceed unsuspected limits. Consequently and so that everything is more bearable, the environment should remain cooperative and the woman to be stronger and more confident.
After being a mother and all the changes that occur, both physical and psychological, a woman can fall into the postpartum depression, and his feeling of guilt is accentuated by not finding answers to what happens to him. It is convenient, from society, to do an analysis of conscience and act so that during motherhood and especially breastfeeding, the woman can feel supported and there are no cases of loneliness and rejection.
It is devastating that those who love you the most do not stay by your side and support your decisions.
Since you have your child and live in certain situations in your skin, your mentality changes. Reading about breastfeeding, hearing about the benefits for both of you, is not the same as feeling it so intimately. Many of us know what breastfeeding implies, the bond is something indescribable and special, consequently, Those who are mere observers may not understand what, as mothers, we feel. Hence the loneliness of a mother who decides to choose to breastfeed.
Families, couples ..., those who had talked about the subject before the baby arrived at the family, they are created with the right to dictate certain actions later. A constant discussion is created about it, it is breathed in the air. For the mother who decides to continue breastfeeding, there is no social support and she is often rejected or exposed to trial. For society to breastfeed a child beyond 6 months or the year is already long, for the WHO, breastfeeding must be complementary until the age of 2 and from then on as far as mother and child wish.
When this happens, a mother no longer only has to face the emotional mess that motherhood entails, but also has to deal with the incessant opinions that tell you that it is time to stop breastfeeding every day, that the child is very big and that he is doing him a disservice for his autonomy, self-image and personal development, nothing is further from reality. It is devastating that those who love you the most do not stay by your side and support your decisions.
Feeling rejection by others is selfish and cruel, obviously the percentage of ignorance or pasotism can be deduced. It is complex that they do not position themselves next to the mother or empathize with her and the baby's wishes, even more so when this act does not harm anyone. Mothers have to draw strength to confront and confront those who besiege us with their comments and set themselves up as saviors of an act that we continue because it is the best we can give our children.
We are mothers and therefore women, who, as in many aspects of our life, must justify our actions to others, as if we could not decide for ourselves. We must remember in a fierce way that they are our children. Not everything is so simple. Pediatricians, parents, grandmothers ..., it is not so easy to start a process or make a decision and change overnight or set a deadline. If everyone is satisfied up to 6 months of age, what happens afterwards to change their opinions? We are acting for the good of our children and we must be responsible and consistent with our ideals. This path is the one we want our children to take.