When we talk to children we do not realize the value and weight that our words have on them. We speak as they did to us or in a totally automatic way, without question. After reading this article, I hope you reflect on the way you speak and express yourself to your children, how much the Pygmalion effect in children.
What is the Pygmalion effect?
For the Pygmalion effect refers to the influence others have on us through their expectations. That is, through our expectations and beliefs we can get to modify the performance of other people.
Its origin dates back to Greek mythology, where the Pygmalion King did not find the woman of his life, none was perfect enough. Tired of searching, he decided to make a sculpture that would show the woman of his dreams. He works her like a real woman: he dressed her, hugged her, kissed her ... The goddess Aphrodite, goddess of love, moved by this story decided to turn her into a real woman. Thus the Pygmalion King got the woman of his dreams.
What is important about the Pygmalion effect in children?
This effect is very important in children, it has been studied especially in the area of education, where the effect of teachers' expectations on student results has been found. If we feel valued, we receive positive expectations towards us, we will be more successful that if someone does not trust us, even if the task is the same.
Children build their self-esteem through the expectations that others have of them. If you think that he will fail or that he will not be able to do something, it will be because he will assume your expectations as reality.
Application in classrooms
One of the studies on the Pygmalion effect was carried in the United States. Two groups of students were formed: one with high marks and one with low marks. The study was carried out with double blindness: neither the students nor the teacher knew the nature of the study so as not to influence the results.
It was facilitated to the teacher inverted results of both groups, that is, the results of high notes were for the group of low notes and vice versa. After a while it was found the group with high notes suffered a considerable drop and those with low notes increased their notes significantly. The teacher unconsciously influenced his expectations about the performance of his students.
Home application
If you constantly tell a child that they are bad, they will end up being bad. That is the expectation you have of him, and he will assume that is his role and will behave as such. We must analyze what is the message that we are sending to our children, what we expect from them and what we want to convey to them.
That is why it is so important that both parents and educators are aware of the words that we transmit to children and the gestures that accompany them, so as not to clip their wings in their development. We must analyze what are the real expectations we have about our children, what we expect from them, if we want them to do a certain activity because we couldn't do it or if we are living through them.
Children are not here to meet our personal needs. They are unique people, with tastes, skills, abilities and goals that may be different from ours. We will have to do a lot of inner work to detect the root of our expectations of life, love and family. Many times we repeat patterns without doubting them, it is what they taught us and we do. But they may be negatively affecting something as important as your child's self-esteem, emotional development, and success in life.
We must generate positive expectations both towards others and towards ourselves to have a healthy self-esteem and increase our self-confidence.
Because remember ... the success or failure of your child will depend largely on what you expect from him.