Being the father or mother of a teenager is not easy at all, and especially knowing that there is an egocentric stage that they become totally narcissistic. This does not mean that they should be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, far from it! In fact, it is a typical temporary phase of adolescence, but if you do not work within parenting, it could worsen over time.
In this sense, it is necessary for parents to be aware of this and to know how to educate their children so that they do not become narcissistic people. If you are seeing that your adolescent child seems to go back more and more in time and enters the egocentric stage again as when he was 2 years old ... then it is important that you keep these tips in mind.
Alternative explanations
Your narcissistic teen will assume that other people's behaviors are always related to him / her. For example, if a friend does not return your call, they will think that the friend is angry instead of thinking more logical things like maybe they are busy. You could also insist that his science teacher suspends him because he dislikes him instead of thinking, maybe, he should try harder.
You need to ask him questions about the weather: "Do you think that's the only reason why your friend doesn't call you back?" Help your adolescent to understand that in his conclusions there may always be other alternatives or possibilities ... that is, there are alternative explanations for his thinking.
The consequences should not always be material possessions
If the consequences of bad behavior in your teenager always focus on his belongings, he will think that his material possessions are the most important thing in life. Although sometimes they are to restrict privileges such as the time he spends on the screen or take away his electronic devices, you need to make sure that you also use other consequences.
Other ways to discipline may include restricting experiences such as preventing her from going out with her friends on the weekend. You can also add extra chores around the house because of bad behavior.
Beware of giving yourself too many things
If you do not stop giving things to your children it is possible that it is reinforced in their mind that they are very special in the world. You can also make your self-esteem based on having things and this is kilo that you will show to others. You need to educate your children based on effort to prevent them from becoming materialistic.
Set limits on what you give to your children and remind them that life is not about raising their status. You need time and work on your innate talents in order to be successful.
Limit the use of electronic devices
Your teen may be constantly bombarded with advertisements on television and on the Internet. Many of those ads will try to convince you that you need to buy certain products to make yourself look better than other people. These messages could reinforce that she needs to focus on superficial things in order to be happy or better than others.
As if that weren't enough, most teens spend a lot of time on social media. Whether your teen is obsessed with taking the perfect selfie or bragging about his latest family vacation, social media can serve as an outlet for his narcissism.
Most teens spend an average of nine hours a day using digital devices - this is too much! It is important to establish norms and limits of the time of use of the screens. Encourage him to participate in different activities that will help him feel more balanced.
Focus on your teenager's efforts
When your teenager scores well on a test, it may be tempting for you to praise him for his intelligence, but in reality, praise him for the effort he has shown to study and strive to take a good test. If you tell your child that they are good at something, instead of reinforcing it, what you will do is feed their already grown ego ... focus on effort and not results.
In this regard, you need to praise efforts so that he can build character rather than trying to inflate his ego. Say things like: "I can tell you worked really hard", "You really tried hard on the pitch today." Then he will know that you really value his effort more than his achievements.
Activities for a good self-image
They may tell you that designer clothes or a nice necklace make them feel good about themselves, but don't really allow your child's self-esteem to be so controlled by external factors. Help your child build a healthy foundation for their self-esteem, Let him know that he can still feel good even when something is not right.
You can feel good doing things that you like instead of having things… if you like the piano, sign up for piano lessons, attend game club, etc. When you really feel good about yourself, you will feel less compelled to brag about your accomplishments to others.
Assign tasks
It is important that all members of the household contribute to the family, including your teenager. Keep him grounded by adding regular household chores… you NEVER have to pay him for doing what he owes. make.
Tasks can be washing dishes, cooking meals for the whole family, doing common household chores ... When you do all your homework and academics, then and only then will you be able to temporarily regain your privileges.
Teach healthy coping strategies
Hostility, cruelty, and arrogance often stem from a teenager's attempts to hide uncomfortable feelings, such as sadness or shame. Teach your teen to have healthy ways to deal with insecurities and uncomfortable feelings. Keep a journal when you are sad or Talking to a friend when you are embarrassed may help you deal with your emotions in a healthier way.
Talking about emotions often at home is necessary. Share your experiences with failure or rejection and the temptation you have felt to blame other people for your own mistakes. Explain to your teen that there are healthier ways to deal with situations.