A victim mentality is an unhealthy and very self-destructive attitude. that can develop for a variety of reasons. A child who is bullied by classmates may begin to feel helpless, like others have the right to speak ill of him and make demands of him. They feel that they do not deserve better in their life and that if they do not get their way it is because they deserve it.
Having a victim mentality can be a big problem for children and will not help anyone in life. This type of mentality emotionally incapacitates those who have it and it is necessary to work it so that in this way, people can have a much more successful life.
The victim mindset is the opposite of the growth mindset. Parents need to know that the growth mindset is the one that really matters and the one that can help a child grow and develop successfully in life.
Parents should be vigilant to know if their child is developing a victim mentality (with thoughts like: poor me, everything bad happens to me, nobody understands me ...). If so, it will be necessary to know how to act and improve the child's thinking ... The power of the mind has no limits and therefore, it is necessary to change the mentality of victim by the mentality of growth. But you must detect the victim attitude to eradicate it!
Helplessness
A child who sees himself as a victim will allow bad things to happen to him. He will assume that there is nothing he can do about the obstacles he encounters. He may believe that his efforts to create change will be ineffective and would rather not put in the effort to try.
You may refuse to ask for help when you don't know how to do your homework or when you are confused about a teacher's directions. He thinks that it is not worth the effort and that it does not matter if he does it well or badly. You can also remain passive when your peers treat you badly. This helpless attitude increases the chances that a child will be a victim of bullying.
Self pity
Self-pity and a victim mentality go hand in hand. You may feel that no one likes you or that you are unable to do anything right. Instead of looking for solutions to the situations that afflict him, he prefers to do nothing or invest his energy in winning the sympathy of others, without succeeding. You can complain, be angry and regret but without taking steps to help you be well or improve the situation you are in.
Everything is bad
Negativity is common in children with a victim mentality. They will always come across bad things and focus only on that. Even when something good happens to him he will say that it is not something normal and that it may never happen again ... children with this type of mentality will ignore the good things that happen to him, they focus on the bad and even though they think it is "to be realistic" What happens is that it is a downward spiral and they will feel worse and worse.
Self-fulfilling prophecy
A child with a victim mentality who has to take a test will think that it is not worth the effort because he will fail it anyway. Because of this thinking, you will not try hard enough and will fail the exam. When he suspends it, he will reaffirm himself thinking that he already knew that he was going to suspend it because he is not good at anything he does ... Not realizing that if he had been thinking positively and trying to get a better grade, he probably would have succeeded with effort.
It is possible that when you are told to do something you like, you may say that you do not want to do it because it will not do any good. He thinks beforehand that things will go wrong, and since he is what he thinks, it is what attracts… If he thinks that things will go wrong, they will! And if you think things will go well ... you will be surprised! If you don't think positive, you won't be able to enjoy time or anything you do every day of your life.
Blame it on others
When a child has a victim mentality, he will not want to take responsibility for his actions or his words, so with his “poor me” mentality he will always blame others for everything bad that happens to him.
He will think that everyone wants to hurt him, that everyone thinks of hurting him and this will cause him to feel a negative reaction towards others. You may have social problems from these unrealistic thoughts. Also, when they have bad behavior You may have trouble acknowledging your share of the blame.
Exaggerate misfortunes
A child who constantly sees himself as a victim will use words such as "always" or "never" when he has to describe the circumstances that occur to him. You may hear him say things like: "I never do anything right", "Those kids always laugh at me."
This kind of thinking paralyzes anyone and will only make it harder to recognize exceptions to the rule. Even when there is evidence of what is happening, it is necessary that you do not insist on that perception and that you focus on the exception of the norm.
Can you help your child with a victim mentality?
You need to help your child with a victim mentality because if not, he will grow up thinking that he lives in a cruel world where everyone is bad and that it is not worth his effort at all. He needs your help so that he doesn't carry that toxic and destructive mindset into his adult life.
You will only have to make a few small changes in your child's life. Listen to his feelings, what he has to say, empathize with his emotions, name his emotions so that he understands and understands them ... Help him understand that being wrong is not bad, quite the opposite. A mistake is a teacher and you must learn from the things that happen to us on a daily basis.
If you find that your child has an overly pessimistic view of life, it may be a good time to seek help from a professional so that problems of childhood depression or anxiety are ruled out.