Although we have already spoken on previous occasions about risks derived from misuse of the Internet and its prevention, this type of advice is highly demanded by families with children and adolescents. This time I am based on a piece of news I read yesterday ... It tells the story of a mother who impersonated her little girl on Facebook when she realized that 'a pedophile was harassing her'.
It happened in Argentina and the little girl was only nine years old; Sabrina Baco (that's what this mom was called) obtained different evidence to be able to file a complaint, since during the conversations he had posing as the girl, the attacker even asked her to send him nude photos. We know this practice as grooming, and as we describe here it is about 'when there is sexual stalking after the approach strategy'.
In these cases, sexual predators gain the trust of minors and have the strength to initiate and maintain blackmail. It goes without saying that from the moment of suspicion, the parents' mission should be to protect their children, and at the same time gather evidence of the criminal act. Because yes, child pornography is a crime, and according to the Council of Europe it is defined as 'any audiovisual material that uses minors in a sexual context'.
From the use of explicitly sexual images of minors participating in sexual behavior (even if they are simulated), to the use of material for pornographic shows, going through images showing the sexual organs of minors. And by the way, I mentioned above that it was a pedophile who had contacted that girl to obtain nude photos of her, but have you ever had a doubt about the difference between pedophilia and pedophilia? Well, the box below, prepared by Internet Grooming (from Pantallas Amigas) explains it very well, and briefly I tell you that 'the act of abuse' is what makes the difference, and what distinguishes a pedophile.
How to act if you suspect that a child is being bullied by a groomer?
Talking about prevention is easy, admit that our children can be victims not so much, below we will repeat the tips to avoid, but what would you do if you found yourself in Sabrina's shoes? In the first place, it is necessary to emphasize that we must maintain a very careful attitude, in conversations with children and in the steps to take, because above all we must protect them. It is possible that we suspect that something is happening to him because he has changed his attitude and habits in recent weeks, that a friend of his has half told us about the problem, that we have read a conversation, even that the children have told us something.
Everything will depend on the confidence you have at home, the age of the children, your ability to manage the use of the devices they use ... Communication is key to maintaining a situation that resembles normality, and for this:
- Listen without judging; offers solutions but listens to their suggestions.
- Question without questioning: you should keep him from feeling 'overwhelmed'.
- Assure him that you (especially the child) are victims, at no time should a minor who has sent an image be blamed.
- Speak in a calm environment, without having people from outside the family in front of you.
- Believe in your daughter or your son: they have not invented it, they ask for your help and protection.
- Stay calm so it's easy for him to stay.
- You are not to blame either: you are not a bad mother, you are not a bad father.
- Take control of the child's profiles: save evidence, ignore requests, block the aggressor, delete the profile.
- Consult with the brigade of technological crimes and that they guide you when reporting.
- Psychological attention may be necessary.
- Your daughter's school, close friends, and extended family - helpful, of course - should know the facts after you've acted. This will contribute to protection.
- Beware of revictimizations! Avoid anyone who can harm you.
- Reinforce security and take into account the emotional health of your child after what happened, adapt to his needs: if he wants to spend more time at home instead of continuing to learn music, respect him, if he prefers to go out with you again to the movies instead of go with her friends, be understanding ...
Grooming avoidance: pending task?
In the entry above we already gave many details about prevention, to highlight the importance of family communication: that they know how to protect themselves rather than distrust EVERYTHING around. Clearly explain the security measures: privacy settings of social networks, no showing intimate images, parental supervision, forbidden to meet someone you know only on the Internet, keep equipment safe, establish a common place in the house for the use of devices.
In short, it is about combining common sense with the necessary exercise of motherhood or paternity, which sometimes implies the establishment of limits.
Images - Pro Juventute, IntelFreePress