If you think all the time that you are failing, it is more than likely that you are exhausted 100% of the time. This type of negative thoughts will only make you feel that you are making things worse every time, when in reality and most likely, this is not the case. Moms seem to have an inner critic that never sleeps. This internal criticism causes moms to question almost everything, including their performance as parents.
That constant criticism is not good for anyone and it makes you feel like you are failing as a mother. Be bold and tell your inner critic to shut up! You're doing a great job. Some days you will feel like you are barely surviving raising your children at home. You have to remember that you are a good mother and that not all battles can always be won ... in fact, you don't need to win every parenting battle.
If you continue to have this type of thinking, you will only get more and more tired, something that will have a direct impact on your family and on you. Then you will find some tips that will help you stop these thoughts and avoid the exhaustion that precedes it.
Stop that thought
Whenever such a thought comes to mind, just stop it. Stop the thought and change it for one that is more real and that also makes you feel better. You can think things like:
- I really am a good mother
- Every day I do my best to be a good mother
- I love my children with all my heart
- My children need me and I must take care of myself to take good care of them
- If I am happy, they will be happy by my side
- Put aside the mobile
Children increasingly feel how their parents are distracted by mobile phones. This causes you unnecessary stress due to new technologies. All those perfect parenting posts you see on the internet will only put unreal pressure on you, because not even those people you see in networks are. You shouldn't be perfect parents at all.
Remember that people on social media are never really sincere or honest about their reality. Most people will not post their bad days to avoid being judged by others. The best idea is to run out of electronics around for part of the day, and you'll feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. At first it may seem weird, but later you will realize that it will be worth it.
Your partner must be by your side
If you have a partner, they have a very important role in your life and also in raising your children. Your family should be a team and your partner should help you get off the field when you feel like you've just been attacked by your own players. Many couples want to help, but sometimes they don't know how to do it because you can make them feel (unintentionally) like they are invaders or players from the opposing team. Maybe you get angry because he doesn't do things the way you would ... But you must understand that everyone does things in their own way and what matters is doing it.
Your partner has to be with you at home side by side. It does not matter if the children drink canned juice instead of freshly squeezed juice… If your partner has prepared dinner and put their pajamas on so that you have some time to disconnect, just enjoy that moment for yourself. The children will be fine at those times.
Remember that it is also important that both you and your partner, Look for time for connection and intimacy, since it is necessary for your relationship to work. You need to have an emotional connection to be both team leaders.
You have to sleep more
If you are exhausted, you may think that it is normal ... people think that it is something that mothers of newborns experience and that's it. This is not really the case, since exhaustion can occur at any time if the mother does not get enough rest. You need to sleep.
Regardless of the ages of your children, you need a good night's sleep. This is essential to keep your exhaustion at bay and above all, to be able to have enough energy to enjoy your children and yourself. Nobody works well if they haven't had enough sleep… and if you also add 'children' to the equation, you still need a little more sleep. You need to rest to be a happy mom to face the arguments between siblings, change diapers, drive ... and do whatever you have to do in your day to day.
Say 'no' more often
You can't do everything, so don't even try. Saying that you can't make you feel guilty for not doing everything that is asked of you, but you shouldn't. You have to know when to say no. You are one person and you cannot do everything. No one can get rid of those feelings of guilt.
In other words, say no to baking cookies for school, sewing school costumes, or volunteering at a social event. Limit projects and say no to everything else. Your mental health goes to before doing things for others, things that they do most of the time, they are not even grateful.
Say 'no' to your children too
Just as you must learn to say no to others, you must also learn to say no to your children. It is impossible to take your older daughter to an extra school at 4, to the middle one at 4:30 and the youngest at 5. You are not 'superwoman' nor do you have powers to teleport.
Overloading your children with activities will overload them, but it will also overload you. You need to learn to say no to certain things to safeguard your sanity. Have at least two days at home without having to go to any extra-school activities during the week. Simplify your days and everything will become easier for everyone.
Let your children do things for themselves
Sometimes it is easier to do things for children than to have them do it for themselves. But raising an independent child who understands responsibility begins with allowing them to do things for themselves.
When your children start to do things for themselves (after you have taught them), you will realize how things can go much better than you expected. In addition, you will have an additional rest at the same time. You will be proud of their achievements even if they are not perfect. Little by little you will be able to assume new responsibilities with a little help at the beginning and without any help at the end. You all win!