All families have family conflicts, it is normal and even healthy for it to occur. But what is necessary is to know how to deal with situations so that it does not become a real problem. If family conflicts are not resolved, they can become a huge gap between family members and can emotionally distance them.
Family reunions with consequences
The best way to redirect the problems that arise in a home is with family gatherings, but always from a loving perspective. In most positive parenting theories, punishments are often disparaging and never end up being effective in the short or long term.
To clarify, a punishment is intended to inflict harm or pain on someone by playing a role of power or superiority against someone without power. A consequence, on the other hand, is a result that follows a particular action. It is not intended to hurt, nor is it intended to dominate power over another person. A consequence can be a powerful limit and help children mature and understand responsibilities for their actions.
The father can take a compassionate position while keeping the children up to the family's standards. The limit may be a bit annoying, but the child generally does not feel attacked by the parent who uses consequences, moreover, the child feels that he has some control over the situation and will help him understand that his actions are his and his responsibility and These can have positive or negative consequences.
Faced with pressure; take a deep breath and count to 10
If you feel pressured in a family situation, your example will be the greatest teaching for your children. So instead of going into an angry state, what you should do is count to 10 and take a deep breath. Your children will learn that calmly, everything is solved in a better way and you will feel much more control over the situation.
It is necessary that if you feel under pressure, you do not make hasty decisions, because this will cause you to be, inadvertently, too hard on your children or you will go overboard setting limits. When this happens later, you feel guilty and resentful and also, your children will feel hurt and therefore, you will not get them to improve their behavior in the short or long term. If you lose your nerves it will only be a situation where at home, you all lose out, and this is not an effective way to solve the problems.
It is advisable for any family to have some rules at home and that these have reasonable consequences. All of this will have to be discussed at family gatherings.
Family reunions as the best strategy
Family reunions will help you all put your cards on the table, so that your children feel that their opinion is also important and above all, that the bond that unites you is not damaged in any way. For this reason, you must learn to have effective family meetings to be able to solve any conflict in the best possible way. But how do you get it? Don't miss out on the keys you need for a successful family reunion.
There are many ways to have a family reunion and you should choose the way that best suits you as a family. The important thing is that a calm and calm environment is created, where love and respect are the fundamental bases of the open communication that you will be about to carry out. The basic points to take into account will be the following.
The meeting will have a beginning and an end
A family reunion should have a well-defined beginning and end. Add it to other problems or announce anything. Choose a schedule in which everyone will have time to talk and agree with your family how long it will last, the shorter it is, the better.
Don't tackle too many problems
There are not too many issues to be tackled at family gatherings, this will prevent minds from wandering. A maximum of one or two problems will have to be addressed. This will ensure that all members of the family feel involved in the issues to be discussed. For example, If you want to talk about housework, talk only about that, not about other things.
There should be no personal attacks
In family gatherings, the needs of the situation should be solved and you should never make personal attacks. For example, do not tell your children that they never make the bed or do not wash the dishes, if not, you should tell them that you have noticed that the bedroom is always with the unmade bed or that the dishes are always on scrub. Then you will agree on a table of housework so that everyone knows what to do and when to do it to have a good family life.
Children must also have a voice
In order for your children to feel that they also have some control of the situation, they must be able to have a voice in the tasks and in the established consequences. It is essential for children to internalize the norms that they do not feel that they live under a dictatorship. You must enhance their autonomy in this. It is good that you listen to your children and that together you solve problems creatively.
Clear rules and consequences
It is very important that there are clear rules and consequences in the event that the rules are not followed. In this sense and if necessary, you can write the rules on a cardboard and leave them in a place in the house that looks good.
Do not expect your children to like this, but it is necessary to do it as usual at home whenever there are conflicts. That way they too will have a place to defend their position or the consequences. If your children try to negotiate to get rid of the consequences, it is normal and nothing happens. You will simply have to hold the limits and consequences firmly so that they understand the responsibilities of their actions.
It is important that as a family, you hold family meetings whenever necessary, especially to address important issues or family conflicts. There is no meeting that is more effective than one that is approached with respect and love for all members.