The excessive self-demand of mothers

The woman and mother since the beginning of time has played an extremely important role. Her role has been mainly as caretaker of the house and children. Added to this, their disposition and dedication have been maximum demanding themselves to limits that border on the strenuous. Today things have changed, improved, however the self-demand of mothers is still very present.

The determination, demand and dedication of mothers

Every day women carry many responsibilities on their shoulders: home, work, taking care of their children ... La woman, who is also a mother, increases her occupation mental. All of this is not easy. A mother not only cleans, she controls whether cleaning products are missing, what to clean more thoroughly and when, which clothes to prioritize for washes and which one needs to be ironed before.

The mother's mind is concerned with whether there is no food in the refrigerator or what menu to prepare for husband and children, change beds, towels, wash certain clothes by hand ... There are many mothers who while working in their offices write down on post-it notes certain pending tasks that have been agreed upon. He thinks about picking up the child from school or school classes, helping him with his homework, giving him his medicine, putting him to sleep ... The woman's mind does not rest and they address various problems or issues to be solved.

Today things have improved. El man help at home, however we must emphasize the word "help". Many men complement the mother, but do not carry the great burden. As always there are exceptions. There are dedicated men who take care of children and the home of their own accord, but a higher percentage is occupied by women.

In the past there was a lot of social pressure, more than today. A mother was fiercely judged by her surroundings if she did not show herself as the perfect wife and caregiver for her Home and sons. This has been taking its toll over the years. Our mothers still refer phrases like "You have to know how to cook, iron or ... what will you do?" Many of them still serve diners, the last sit down to eat or the first get up to pick up. Luckily less and less, although there are still television commercials extolling the role of the almighty woman.

It follows the old-fashioned belief of perfection, almost submission that makes the woman neither fit nor free to be a mother or wife practicing without asking for help. Today many women live far from their families and this is also the reason for the mother's loneliness in the face of certain responsibilities. We live in a society Stressful and traditional where it still seems mandatory to meet certain requirements to be considered good. The mother wants to get there, she demands too much, but sometimes she can't.

Social pressure on the mother

If the woman works outside the home, the roles must be well distributed. What she cannot pretend is to do everything on her own and on top of it well. Besides this as a general rule the woman and mother feel that they have to prove their worth. A mother feels worse if she leaves her child to her father or asks for something. Even having leisure sometimes seems to her not to act properly as a mother. But is there really something wrong with having a moment to yourself?

LThe children continue to be seen as a total responsibility of the mother and she perceives it that way. The mother loves her son above all else. He is more yours than anyone else's. He already took care of him 9 months before his father and he is born from within. The first months, even years, the bond is very strong between mother and child and probably that union and that time together makes it more difficult to delegate to the father. The mother always tends to think that she will be better off than elsewhere.

On the one hand the mother demands too much, why will they say, because it is what she has learned and seen, because it has always been like that. And on the other hand, he greatly wants to be with his son, it is almost irrepressible despite his exhaustion, stress and pain physical. The woman who asks for help feels less capable and does not want to bother her family, her partner, or her friends. He prefers not to sleep and to do everything as it is supposed to be.

This situation occurs mainly until the baby reaches 2 or 3 years and is already worth more for himself. The child does not need the care of his mother so intensely, even if the mother can spend some time with his father. The mother sees that the attachment to the father is also greater. The man is now more qualified to take care of his son, no longer a defenseless baby.

The guilt that the mother feels even though there is no perfection

The mother suffers when the day is over and remembers times when she has not done things well. Analyze if she has faced her husband or children, if she has not been able to clean what she had proposed or if her dinner has burned. Walking at a hundred an hour and feeling like failure makes the woman suffer and blame herself. What really affects women is not changing diapers so many times, cleaning floors or finishing the work at home project, it is not being up to the task. What hurts the mother is demanding so much of herself.

The woman and mother err when seeking to be perfect. You don't have to send that message. It is normal not to arrive and make mistakes. It is necessary to delegate, ask for help, seek comfort, rest to be mentally stronger and not fall into a loop. Such a level of self-demand will emotionally wear out the mother and lead to her not enjoying her motherhood.

The mother who seeks perfection will decide and affirm that only her actions are appropriate. Who dictates what is perfect? A mother decides at home and with her children, sets her standards, praises certain values. Society should not impose anything. The stage and conflicts of motherhood will cause anxiety and possible depression in the mother because it reaches a point of no return, of not recognizing itself, or recognizing the ideal situation that it had assumed.