It is a common mistake to think that by being born into a family, the bond has already been made. We tend to believe that for that reason and only for that reason, there is already a love for life. However, this is not 100% real.
Family ties, like any bond and any feeling of affection, we must care. It is essential to cultivate them, to ensure that they are healthy and strong relationships, so that they do not cause any type of problems to any of the family members.
Why is it important to change the idea that family love is made?
We should not think that the love of family ties is given by birth, because ideas such as "no one will love you like your family" can put a child in an extreme situation, such as abuse or mistreatment, not to report your situation. This should not happen and the only way to avoid it is for that child to know in some way that love is demonstrated with facts, as the popular phrase says "Works are loves and not good reasons."
Apart from this, we must also think that the traditional family model is changing. Today, there is family diversity. The number of adoptions and unstructured families is increasing, as a consequence of separations and divorces. This is why birth ties are truncated in some cases. Either by the breaking of ties with the parents or by the creation of new family ties with other people who fulfill the function of attachment figure, without being genetically related.
The need to cultivate healthy family ties and relationships
Regardless of the type of family we are creating, if genetics are shared, it is not the most important thing. The fundamental thing is to create healthy and strong bonds of attachment, this will be what will really benefit the development of the children.
It is important to try, as much as possible, to spend time with them. It is essential to create that bond, that if it is not given by birth, it will come by itself based on affection, respect and moments lived.
As we said love must be cultivated, cared for and pamperedIt is not a question of blood ties. It is vitally important to your emotional health. Your confidence and self-sufficiency, your motivation and your ability to tolerate frustration, even your way of establishing positive relationships, will depend on her.
There are many factors in which healthy family relationships can benefit your children. For this reason, it is important that you put a lot of care and interest in promoting them.
What kinds of relationships are not healthy for your family
A relationship it is not healthy when one of the two parties feels pressure from the other. That is, it is not healthy for you to protect your child too much, because he will feel pressured, self-conscious, insecure and anxious. As well as it is not it that you ignore it, since its self-esteem could be harmed. He could become a rebellious and troubled child from a feeling of abandonment.
There are many ways to build relationships with our children. We must always ensure that they are relationships in which they can feel protected and safe. Understanding in turn, that they must have their space and that their independence must be promoted, as well as they have to follow rules.
Discipline is also a way to show love, if done in the right way. It is not a question of being an authoritarian parent. That would be part of the type of relationships that are not healthy for your children. It is about having some guidelines to follow, to train as people. As they grow up, they will step out into a world full of unwritten rules. Your way of relating to your children and the rules you have taught them will depend on their way of dealing with it.
As you see, family ties are complex and diverse, they go beyond biological limits. It is of the utmost importance to take care of them and respect them for the sake of your children's development. Not by giving birth you are more of a mother, not by sharing DNA you are more of a father. What is truly important is always what happens afterwards, on a day-to-day basis.