Children never come with an instruction manual and that makes you consider each step you take with respect to your children a thousand times. Every word you say to him, you think about it and value it, in case you are too harsh, or too permissive.
If you add to all this a world that is becoming increasingly hostile and dangerous, you rethink everything like a hundred times more. It is very difficult to assess what the environment really is in which you know for sure that your child will be safe, because we really don't know what dangers we can face every day.
The dangers from outside
We are all afraid of the number of dangers our children will have to face throughout their lives.
It is very difficult to let our children walk alone without running to attend to them in case they fall, at the slightest sign of stumbling. And this is applicable to all stages and senses of life.
However We cannot avoid all their suffering even if we want to, because just as it is harmful to expose them to dangers, it is also harmful to isolate them from them.
Will he feel neglected if you give him too much freedom?
This is one of the dangers of letting them walk alone, apart from the obvious dangers of an increasingly savage world, in which, apparently, you can't even trust your own shadow.
That is why it is important that you always communicate with your child, that you care about how he feels, beyond the daily conversations. He needs to know that you will be there if he has any difficulties, that you will protect and comfort him if any problems arise.
If your child happens to have a problem of any kind and you downplay it, he might feel self-conscious about coming back to you. You need to be very tactful and sensitive when dealing with issues that concern you. Although they seem trivial things, for them they are their whole world, we must not forget that we were also worried once that our backpack or our shoes were not what is fashionable.
If you reinforce her trust in you, she will always turn to her mother when she feels she needs it, even if she knows she did something wrong. If you are tactful about the issues that concern him, he will know that the rules are not impositions, if not the fruit of logic and lessons of responsibility, because every act has consequences.
Your child is much less likely to get into trouble or not know how to resolve their conflicts if you give them that freedom, without forgetting to always let them know that you are there when they need it.
The danger of overprotection
All extremes are equally damaging. It is true that your child may feel lonely or neglected if you give him too much freedom, but it is equally bad for his development protect it too much. You are preventing him from learning to function alone and that affects many aspects of his life and his social and vital learning.
A child who is not allowed to discover himself, to keep him out of danger, is a child who will grow up unsure of his own abilities. You will always feel in danger if there are no limits to "protect" you. He will not interact in an adequate way with his peers of the same age, since he will always need the shelter of an adult to give him that security that he lacks.
Overprotection is harmful to social development and to our children's self-esteem. One of the guidelines that give us such important figures in education as Ferrer i Guardia and María Montessori, is that heChildren must discover and experiment for themselves. It is the only way to discover the interests that move them and the capacities that we must promote in them.
The key to balance
The real key to balance is always listening to your child. It is the only way that your conscience will be clear. If you listen to him, it will be like listening to yourself, whatever he says, you will know what he feels and you will be able to act accordingly. Follow your mother instinct and don't blame yourself for mistakes, because all mothers have them.
As difficult as it is to know where the line is between caution and overprotection, If he is a growing, happy, healthy and self-confident child, we will know that we are doing well.