It is almost imminent. Every day that passes the arrival of the Magi is closer. In shopping malls and toy stores, a lot of parents are left standing in front of the toy shelf deciding what things to give their children for that special day for the little ones. Some of them buy without measure (without being entirely sure that their children will really like that) and there are others who think about it more and who take more time.
But how many gifts are suitable for for example children from 6 to 12 years old? The answer to that question is not clear to me. Possibly enough parents think of material objects to answer the question: "My son is already 12 years old, I can now buy his mobile phone" o «We will buy you the console you want with some games. So you will be entertained ». In this way, unnecessary consumerism is being promoted in the little ones and an excess of gifts that even they did not want.
By now you have surely read many articles entitled "The syndrome of the hyper-gifted child" and you will have seen a lot of images of children with many gifts around, with a very sad face and saying that he only wanted a hug. With the arrival of the Magi, many parents forget of things as simple as spending time with the family and many of them opt for material gifts to make up for the time they have not been able to spend with their children (hence the gifted child syndrome).
Obviously, I am not the one to tell families how many gifts are appropriate to give their children. But I can give some guidelines so that the day of the Magi does not become a feast of unparalleled consumerism in which not even the children themselves enjoy the day. Education and psychology experts speak of the Rule of the Four Gifts which is based on:
-Something to carry (clothes, shoes, accessories)
-Something to read (stories, children's books ...)
-Something they really want (a material toy that they like)
-And something they really need (to take advantage of to give something that has been broken or damaged)
The truth is that I have nothing against this rule. But I think he is forgetting something very important: spend moments with family (that is, exclusive and quality time) and gifts that do not go out of style and help them develop skills and abilities. Let's put ourselves in the situation: some parents decide to follow the Rule of the Four Gifts to the letter. They buy their children clothes, a story or a book, a game for the console (for example) and a backpack for school because the one they had been carrying until now has been broken and it is a necessity (due to the amount of books they already carry from early childhood education, of course).
Where is the family time? Spending only half an hour reading a story (if the children are very young) to the children is not spending a lot of time together.
However, if we add the following to the rule of the four gifts, the situation would change a bit, right?
-Something to share with the family (a weekend getaway, sports activities together, cinema, theater ...)
-Something that is useful, skill-building, and durable (Neuroedicative games that are often used a lot for years and can also be played as a family).
«Not even two weeks have passed and he already has all the toys that we bought for the Three Wise Men in the trunk. He's tired of them. Possibly, you have thought that phrase on more than one occasion or have acquaintances who have done it. The toys that appear on television are usually a fad and in a few days they will have lost the interest of the children. Wouldn't it be better to give them something that would offer them happiness over time?
In addition, psychologists warn that excessive amounts of gifts prevent children from are able to manage frustration in the future. That is, if families buy all the gifts that their children have asked or most of them without foundation and without knowing what the consequences are, when the children are older and receive a "no" as an answer from someone who is not close the family will not understand it and it may cause anger, anxiety and anger.
The pace of society is incredible. And you know better than I do that reconciling family and work is incredibly complicated. So, now that the arrival of the Magi is approaching, we must take advantage of give gifts to the children with whom the whole family can enjoy and share unforgettable moments together.
Giving away clothes, stories, something they want and something they need is great. But don't forget about gifts that are "not gifts." Of those family bike rides, that afternoon at the movies, that free puppet show on the street or in the library. Do not forget that the Quality time that parents can give their children is the best gift for them and they also value it very much.
So, dear Three Wise Men, this year think of gifts that go beyond material objects, think of gifts that really make children happy for a long time and not for a short week. Think of gifts that go with those that they can enjoy as a family, with those who spend days of laughter and with those who learn together. The little ones will be happy to be with their family playing and creating unforgettable moments and experiences.