Adolescence in itself is already a complicated stage. It is a time of change, a search for one's own identity, uncertainties, physical changes, the need for independence and hormonal changes. A lack of emotional management can lead to adolescents not knowing where these changes are going and their rebellion increases. All this can lead to many parents being overwhelmed by their children's behaviors. Here we give you some tips for dealing with unruly teens.
How does a teenager feel?
We have all been through it but it seems like a distant echo. The insecurities of age, the desire to fit in, the vulnerability, to seek your place in the world but at the same time feel part of something. The childhood stage where everything revolved around the family is left behind. Y it's easy to feel lost in the face of so many changes even if you don't remember.
They begin to have clear ideas about certain social issues, they are more alert to what is happening around them and everything affects them in a much more sensitive way than before. They try to break the established rules want to be treated like adults even if they are not yet. Their center revolves around their friends and family will be put aside, they may even see them as the enemy when they feel misunderstood.
Silences, rebellion, arguments and testing of limits are the order of the day for adolescents. Their lack of maturity leads them to be unpredictable and impulsive. The frustration of parents who do not know how to manage these changes in their children can lead to confrontations or make the situation worse. And on the other hand, the boys feel misunderstood since they do not know how to react in another way. With these tips, we hope that your relationship with your adolescent child will improve and become stronger.
8 Tips for Treating Rebellious Teens
- Approach strategies. It can be complicated because adolescents will try to keep their distance in search of their own identity. Yet adolescents need their parents to guide them through this confusing process.. It is not about containing them but about accompany them, understand them. Cross their barriers to reach them.
- Put yourself in place. As we saw above, it can be difficult for us to go back to how we felt as teenagers but we all go through that horrible stage. They are children in a world of adults, disoriented and overwhelmed. Many emotions are on the surface and everything is a world. Accepting that these changes are like this and that they will happen helps us to put ourselves in their shoes. Fortunately, everything will end when adolescence passes.
- Negotiation of freedoms. Teenagers seek freedom at all costs. Parents have the difficult task of coming up with a balance between your needs and your limits. Letting him do what he wants is not good for him and neither is it to set strict rules since he will try to break them and put you in front of each other. The limits must be well defined, taking into account the age and responsibility of the adolescent.
- Be consistent. This step is more complicated for separated parents since each one will have a different conception of the limits. The ideal is to reach a common agreement between the parents on what their freedoms and obligations are. They must be congruent and fulfilled by both parties. If not, the adolescent will see that he can do whatever he wants and that there are no consequences.
- Listen to him. Communication is vital in this stage. Ask him about things that interest him and make him trust you. Do not judge or criticize him when he tells you something intimate or he will raise the barriers and it will be very difficult for him to lower them. Listen carefully, without speaking, let him know that you are there to help him and that he can count on you if he needs you.
- Do not compare him with others. This only creates insecurities and losses of self-esteem. Love him for how he is without trying to change him or it is someone else. He needs your love to grow emotionally healthy.
- You must learn from your mistakes. Surely you have made mistakes in your past that you do not want your child to repeat. But the best way to learn is by making mistakes. It will make them mature and take responsibility.
- Be an example. If you see verbal or physical aggression at home you will learn that problems are solved this way. Let him see that you know how to manage your emotions in a respectful and healthy way.
Because remember ... adolescence is one of the most complicated stages that require your love and attention.