Maybe they told you that motherhood was easy, that all babies and children have the same needs. But it is further from reality, each child is different and their needs are very different. Even if you have 3 children, each child may have totally different needs from each other.
It is difficult for you to want to have another baby when fatigue can beat you, when you no longer know how many times you get up at night or how many hours you sleep, when at work they attract your attention because your concentration and energy are at a minimum.
It is necessary to understand that your child has needs that others may not have, but what matters is that you know your little ones well to know how you meet their needs. If you think you are too tired to think, then do not miss the following tips survival when you discover that your child is in high demand.
Think of you
It seems difficult or impossible, because the days are short and you take away hours of the little sleep to be able to reach a part of all your responsibilities. But if you organize yourself well, it can be done, you can keep up to date even if it is only 20 minutes and think about yourself. and how you want to spend that time. You can exercise at home, go for a walk, watch social networks, be with your partner, talk on the phone ... whatever you want. But let it be your time.
This will allow you to charge your batteries and your energy and that you see life in a much more pleasant color. As a mother, you need to be a mother, of course! But you also need to be a woman. You may think your baby needs you so much that you don't even have time to shower quietly. It is normal and natural to put the baby's needs before your own, but you cannot raise a healthy baby if you are constantly exhausted.
The next time you're on a plane, watch the flight attendant demonstrate the proper use of the oxygen mask (and think about how accurate it is by the way): 'Put on the oxygen mask before putting it on your child' . If you are drowning, you will not be able to help your child.
You will need to have a realistic evaluation of what you need to meet your baby's needs, but also yours.
Have a positive attitude
It is possible that your feelings and your thoughts can be quite negative when it comes to having a high demand child: 'He doesn't sleep', 'He doesn't sit down', 'I don't want to', 'He's unpredictable', 'He's very stubborn', 'He doesn't seem to listen to me', 'I can't take it anymore', and a long list of thoughts that keep you frustrated over and over again.
The payoff in raising a high demand child is that beneath every 'negative' aspect, there will always be another positive. When you start to put aside that weed that does not let you see the flowers, you will realize that your child is a whole garden full of colors and wonderful fragrances.
All high demand children have in their character traits that make them stand out and positive in some aspects of their lives. You will just have to find and nurture them, because in the future, it will be very beneficial for him. The trick is to find them. It is easy to let only the negatives show up and, on top of that, camouflage all the positives. You will have to collect a lot of weeds to see how the flowers bloom.
To achieve this, you must focus on what you like about your child: 'I love watching him play ball', 'He eats very well', 'He is a very affectionate boy'. Think about how happy your child makes you and that his personality is unique, and his own idiosyncrasy makes him so special. You may have wasted a lot of time and energy wondering what problem your child was having and what was he doing wrong (because maybe many people with children who are not in high demand made you feel). Once you start to see the unique and positive qualities your child has rather than the opposite, motherhood with a child in high demand will be much easier. And your home will not be so stressful.
Work on your patience
Personalities don't change in a day. It can take months of daily work on your child's behavior to notice progress. It is necessary to take advantage of the small opportunities of daily conflicts so that you can work with your child on the correct behavior. Children are not born learned, nor do they misbehave to make you mad. They do not know how to behave well and then they do things impulsively, therefore, your guide, your rules and limits together with your love, will help them see the way.
Your child in high demand, what he needs the most from you is undoubtedly your understanding and empathy. If, for example, your child is crying and you cannot do anything to calm his disconsolate crying, at least while the crying lasts, he should know that you are by his side to support and comfort him. Thus, once he is calm, he will be able to find solutions to his discomfort with you and in this way, the next time he will know how to act to feel good.
Share the work
You do not have super powers nor can you handle everything, so if you feel tired, you should think about sharing the work with your partner, a babysitter or with someone who can give you a hand. It is necessary that the upbringing is a matter of both parents, because in addition, if possible, the child needs the security of knowing that his parents are by his side at all times.
Share the work, the sorrows and also the joy. The parents involved will always be a win-win for the family. You get the help you need so much, and your partner is also involved in their child's life. Both of you must develop creative parenting techniques, so your child will know that the two of you are an essential part of lifelessness.