Being a parent is hard work, and children deserve our support as they strive to do their best every day of their lives. New parents are especially vulnerable to any suggestion that they should have done something different. Also, grandparents don't always know the best. The most honest grandparents will generally admit that sometimes When they disagreed with the parents' decision, they were sometimes wrong.
Being indirectly critical can be harmful too. Inaccurate remarks or humorous jokes can make a vulnerable parent feel bad. Comparisons can also be very painful. Never compare the performance or development of a grandchild with that of another child.
When grandparents, in addition to being too critical, cannot say no, it can also cause a problem in the relationship. The right of a grandparent to pamper his grandchildren is firmly embedded in our culture, but those who are reasonable know that there are limits. A grandfather who cannot say no to his grandchildren will leave their parents in a bad place.
Grandparents should say no when grandchildren request something their parents won't allow, be it candy, a gift, or an extra hour of television. Grandparents should say no when grandchildren ask for something that could harm their health or safety. When it comes to buying a requested gift, sometimes grandparents have to say no. Still, there will be plenty of times for them to say yes to grandchildren! It is only necessary to discuss it first with the parents so that they always go along the same educational and flexibility line. Also, grandparents can be somewhat more flexible than parents in certain circumstances, as long as they have discussed it with parents before.