No matter how good your yelling prevention strategy is, sometimes you will raise your voice. It's okay. Acknowledge and apologize, and your kids will learn an important lesson: We all make mistakes and should apologize. If your children yell, remind them of the limits and that yelling is not an acceptable form of communication. They need to know that you are ready to listen as long as they show respect.
Model the same by giving yourself time to cool down your engines before talking to your kids when you're upset or overwhelmed. It will help them create lifelong habits that make conflict management easier. This will teach your children to understand mistakes, theirs and those of other people, and that forgiveness is an important tool for healthy communication in a family.
If you've relied on yelling to discipline your kids until now, you're probably seeing the effects:
- Your children may depend on yelling to communicate with each other.
- They respond to you and even yell at you instead of just speaking respectfully.
- Your relationship with them is unstable and volatile to the point of not being able to communicate in a healthy way.
- They may turn away from you and become more influenced by their peers than by you.
You can change all that. Start by having an honest conversation with your kids about the wrong thing to do with yelling and why expressing your anger that way is unhealthy. Make your home a peaceful environment where people respectfully communicate and acknowledge the feelings of others without blaming, shaming, or judging. An open commitment keeps the dialogue open and holds all family members accountable.
If you make mistakes, don't give up. It is not an easy path, but it is worth making the effort for the good of your children and the family in general.