When our children come home with bad grades, many times we do not know how to react to this situation. The thought of all parents is that our children are good at studies since we consider that it is their only obligation, and a guarantee for tomorrow. When this doesn't happen we get frustrated and in our quest to fix it, we often make it worse. Let's see some tips on what to do when your child gets bad grades.
What do the school grades indicate?
The school grades depending on the school year in which our children are, will mark some things or others. When they are younger they mark their daily improvements, such as presenting their tasks on time, their handwriting, reading ... When they are older their understanding, their skills, their memorization and assimilation are valued. It is impossible for teachers that some grades reflect the enthusiasm and effort of the children during the last 3 months. And more importantly, children are not defined by their grades.
More important than some qualifications to face life, they will be the resources, skills and tools they have. Their success in their social and emotional life and their school results will depend on them. We already saw it in the article "Emotional education: predictor of success in life", as the important thing is to learn emotional intelligence to be successful in life much more than school grades.
How do you react when your child gets bad grades?
The way in which we as parents react to the poor grades of our children has its effect on them. It will affect your self-esteem, self-worth, self-control, motivation and attitude towards studies. We leave you some tips to face this situation in the best way:
- Do not punish them. It is usually a habitual reaction, to take away a positive reinforcement for them. Of course, there must be consequences for their behavior, but do not approach it as a punishment. Positive reinforcement is much more helpful than negative reinforcement. You can read the article "Punish or educate in application of consequences?" To learn more about this topic, know the secondary effects of punishments and the benefits of applying consequences.
- Talk to him / her. The result of your bad grades can be for several reasons. Listen to him to see what the problem may have been, he may have problems at school, he may lack motivation or he may simply not see the board well. Must see you as someone who supports to improve and helps you find solutions, not like a policeman applying punishments without listening to him.
- Build trust. It is linked to the previous one. If we create a climate of trust with our children, where they can express themselves freely, they will not be afraid to tell us their problems. This way we will avoid that the notes or information are hidden from us, fearing our reaction.
- Avoid negative reviews. Some parents criticize their children (or even yell at them) in the belief that this will make them better. Nothing could be further from reality, if the person who should love you above all repeats that you are worthless, you will grow up with that belief. You will adopt it as something real and it will affect your whole life. We must have a motivating and confident language, so that they feel supported and motivated.
- See what your study habits are like. As parents we must know how our children study and under what conditions they do so. If they have a quiet and illuminated place to do it, if they dedicate the necessary time, what are their study strategies or if they need a reinforcement. Some of these variables may need to be changed to improve performance.
- Don't dramatize. The world is not ending, they are just a few notes. You have to give them the importance they have without dramatizing. It is a wake-up call to make a change, get more involved and find solutions to improve with them.
Because remember ... your child is not defined by his grades.