When you talk to someone and they are not listening, how do you feel? Surely you will feel bad, emotionally abandoned ... that another person ignores you is not a dish of good taste for anyone. Can you imagine that that person who makes you not feel heard was the most important person in your life? Surely the feeling of despondency is enormous ...
It is exactly the same with your children. If you do not listen to them when they are talking to you or even if you do listen to them, if they do not really feel heard and understood, they will feel tension and negative and intense emotions that they have. it may lead to unwanted behaviors.
They don't feel heard, and they feel pushed
We cannot make children obey unless we are willing to hurt their bodies and break their spirits. They have to WANT to cooperate. Fortunately, our children generally give us the benefit of the doubt and follow our rules, as long as they feel heard and have at least some control or choice.
ALWAYS acknowledge their perspective. If possible, give it a choice. Children need to learn to think critically and know that their thinking and decisions count too… Say something like:
"I hear you. You're saying it loud and clear: NO BATH! You really don't want to take a bath. I bet when you grow up you will NEVER take a bath, right? … And tonight you need to cleanse yourself in the water. You have a choice. You can choose a bath or shower or sponge bath. What is the most fun for you? »
Sometimes listening to your child's perspective can even convince you to compromise or change your position. It's okay. Simply explain your reasoning, so your child knows that it was your solution that made him change his mind, not the stubbornness ... Everyone will win!