Whether or not to leave children alone at home

This would not be the only question to ask ourselves, but we should include the age at which they are prepared to be left without adult supervision. The BBC reported this week about parents who had been arrested in 2014 and 2015 in Wales and England, because the authorities had discovered their children at home alone, and neglected. I imagine that the intervention occurs because an accident occurs to the minor, or has some urgency; or perhaps because they are very young children, and adults outside the family (neighbors, friends ...) come to the conclusion that it is inappropriate for them to remain without the presence of their parents in the home.

For me it is important that we focus on this “inattention” (supposed or real, depending on how old the minors are), but also on their age, which if it is very low, will lead us directly to the first. I mean by this, that 7 years are not the same as 12; Without ignoring that there will be adolescents of 13 capable of taking care of themselves for a while, but incapable of - also - taking care of their siblings. I do not want to get you too involved, so I will focus on some aspects of the Spanish regulations, and the advice that the British NSPCC, offers about it.

NSPCC is an organization dedicated to preventing cruelty towards children, from which it is postulated that "All minors are worth fighting for". As in other European countries, the United Kingdom lacks clear and specific regulations about whether or not the children can be left alone; but it is considered negligence (omission, or involuntary carelessness) as punishable; so, in any case it will depend more on the valuation, or on how the existing rules are applied. The association advises all mothers and fathers do not leave babies or young children alone, not even "to go down for a little bit of bread"

Many things can happen in 10 minutes: a burn when toasting the bread, a fall from a great height or the smallest suffocate on a foreign body, and the little brother does not know how to react. Nor should they be left alone even if they are asleep, imagine for a moment the moment of waking up and realizing that mom or dad are not there, sure it is very distressing for them: their notion of time is very different from ours, and a few minutes may seem like hours.

And in Spain, can children be left alone at home?

To begin with, the recommendation to apply common sense is applicable in any context, but also ...

Our Civil Code mentions in an article that “A situation of helplessness is considered to be that which occurs in fact due to non-compliance, or the impossible or inadequate exercise of the protection duties established by the laws for the care of minors, when they are deprived of the necessary moral or material assistance. ”Therefore, in the face of possible helplessness, parents may face a sanction, and in the worst case the loss of guardianship.

The best guide to make the decision is to resort to consensual information, and assess it based on the child's maturity (which includes their ability to react or responsibility), also the trust we have (or are capable of having in our child). And when I speak of consensual information, I can refer to the age that many professionals in psychology, pediatrics, ... indicate as minimum so that the offspring can stay alone at home. It is between 9 and 12 years old, but linked, as I have mentioned, to other factors (responsibility, maturity, resolute ability, ... perhaps there are too many things to ask of a child, right?).

And of course, I am thinking all the time about brief absences, because of course ... leaving a child under 11 only during your parents' workday, I find it completely inappropriate, and I know more than one house in which it happens.

So can I leave my daughters and sons home alone while I go shopping?

And who says the purchase, says to carry out a management, but what I am not able to accept is that a son / daughter is allowed to spend an hour or more without the presence of an adult, because the parents want to have a coffee, or go for drinks.

You have the answer

Child alone (old enough) at home who knows how to prevent risksIt is not a situation of helplessness, but bother to plan, organize, and supervise that girl or that boy who is going to be without adults for a while. If necessary, do a pre-test.

Also, think about the following:

• Have you talked to the children about "what would they do if" (if they had left the tap running until the water ran out of the sink, if someone they don't know called by phone, etc ...)? Thinking "as if" is a very educational activity that helps to think in the abstract.
• Is the boy or girl responsible?
• Are you good at preparing a simple snack?
• Are you comfortable thinking about being alone?
• Do you have a safe house?

The NSPCC's position

• Not to leave never a baby or toddler alone at home.
• Do not leave children under 12 years old for a long time at home without an adult being present.
• Always think about particular needs of the child left in the care of an older sibling (medication, intolerances, ...).
• Imagine that a 4-year-old boy stays with his 15-year-old brother, do you trust that the older one will not lose sight of him and will be watching?
• Establishes clear rules, for example: when they see that mom or dad call, always pick up the phone, do not turn on a certain appliance, do not go out, numbers to call if they have an emergency.
• Tell them what time you will return, and keep your promise.
• Call him from time to time if you spend more than an hour away from home.
• With less than 16 years, it is better not to be alone at night.

When we talk about child safety, we always clarify that prevention is necessary to avoid risks; and this topic is not very different

Finally, I imagine that many times families "have no choice" since family and work reconciliation is non-existent, Of course, to do things wrong and put children who do not want to or do not know how to be alone at riskIt is worth using family members, extracurricular services, trusted friends, etc., at least while they are young.

Images - (Second to Fourth respectively) Morten Liebbach, yoshimov, Philippe put