It is logical that you are worried and upset when you discover that your daughter is self-harming, the first thing we ask ourselves is why? The short answer is that she You are not managing to develop sufficient strategies to overcome adversity. This is the short answer, but not the easy one.
We explain below why your daughter may be injuring herself, the contagion effect that there is in adolescents (especially) and some recommendations when addressing the issue. The first one is to consult a professional.
Why is my daughter self-harming?
We all go through situations in life that exceed our capabilities to cope with them. In general, we tend to develop new strategies, learned and tested in other contexts that lead us to overcome this situation. But this is not always the case, there are people who do not succeed and then, they turn to other less emotionally healthy avenues. One of them may be self-harm.
Keep in mind that if your daughter is self-harming is going through a very tough situation, you are finding it difficult to deal with. Children, adults, and adolescents alike tend to inflict this harm privately, as an expression of deep emotional pain that they do not know how to channel otherwise.
In the childhood self-harm occurs in the same proportion between boys and girls, but later in adolescence, there is a higher incidence among women. Other factors that you can observe is that they have problems sleeping, they lose their appetite, alopecia, onychophagia, this is that they bite their nails.
What is considered as injury?
To continue with the analysis of why your daughter is self-harming, we will try to determine what types of injuries usually occur. For example, biting, cutting, hitting hard, marking the skin with pressing with objects. If you regularly observe this behavior in your daughter, it is time to put yourself in the hands of a professional, who will almost certainly also have to accompany her.
Almost always adolescent girls who self-harm, cutting themselves for example, they lack the emotional skills to identify what they are feeling, and to manage the emotion. Self-harm they are not an attempt to suicide, as in many cases it is believed. In these people, the feeling of guilt for not being able to help and the assumption of responsibilities are usually very marked. It is a way of punishing yourself for failing.
There are certain teenagers, boys and girls, who can injure themselves to get attention or because they want to fit in a group where this is standard practice. This is what has sometimes been called the contagion effect. The ease with which all kinds of information on how to self-harm can be found online has caused the numbers to skyrocket among the most vulnerable.
How to help someone who hurts himself?
As we have pointed out before, request a appointment with a good professional that addresses the emotional aspect of the human being, if you want to help your daughter. But we also recommend that you take a warm, understanding and affectionate attitude towards her. Right now he needs you.
Remember that the ability to understand, express and manage emotions it is learned in the closest environment, through the affective relationship that the sons and daughters have with their parents. Faced with this situation, you yourself will be wondering and analyzing those why? Perhaps it is time to humbly acknowledge that you are a fallible mother like we all are, accept your mistakes.
Be totally honest and transparent with those who are helping you, and consistent to the end with psychological treatment. The changes are going to be important, and they can make you believe that everything has been overcome, but keep your assistance and that of your daughter, until the specialist discharges her. Otherwise it may relapse. It is extremely important that your daughter receives support from the family, from the understanding, without questioning or judgment.