So that children feel safe and secure at home, they cannot lack rules, limits and routines. Daily routines and structures for children are as important or more important than rules and limits. In this way, they are guaranteed to know how to anticipate what will happen during the day and what is expected of them at all times. Structuring the day is essential.
We cannot forget that a child's life is usually always in full swing, either because kindergarten begins, because he must meet the new babysitter, because the new school begins, because he has to start doing housework at home, because there are changes in the family, etc.
However, a child grows and evolves well when he knows what to expect, even if he does not always like what he plays. By creating a structured environment for your child, you can help him feel safe, which is an essential component to prevent behavioral problems or emotional disruption.
The importance of structuring the day
By regularly promulgating and following a set of rules and routines, you may be labeled the "strict" parent ... actually this is not a bad thing, it is even the best thing that can happen to your children. Children need these rules and routines for a number of reasons: to understand limits and norms, to learn self-discipline, to experience frustration and delayed gratification, and to interact appropriately with the world around them, among others.
As if that were not enough, daily routines and structure can teach children independence and all the satisfaction that comes from it. Once a child understands in the morning they start visiting, eating breakfast, packing their backpack for school and brushing their teeth, you probably don't have to remind them every day. This independence will also give you a pleasant sense of daily accomplishment, self-confidence, and increased self-esteem.
You can not miss the routines
If normally your children's days have little structure, then it is normal for children to feel insecure and even have bad behavior. It is the moment that if they have no structure, you start creating slow changes. When implementing a routine, focus on just one part of the day first, like the time between dinner time and bedtime.
You should think about the tasks that your child will have to do during that period of time such as packing the backpack, finishing the task, taking a bath, having dinner, putting on pajamas, reading a story, turning off the lights and sleeping. It is important that you organize the activities in a way that makes sense for the whole family, because the family is a team and you will all have to go together.
One idea to get this off to a good start is to create a large to-do chart to be completed in order and in a place in the house that looks smooth. So the children can see what they have to do at all times and you will not have to remind them every two by three. You could include photos of each child doing this task in the correct order so that you don't have to guide him once he becomes familiar, allowing him to finish school homework and get ready for the next day, for example. It can take a few weeks and even months for children to get used to these new habits of structuring the day. But with constant work, children will begin to become familiar with their new routines and they will do it on their own.
When creating the routine, don't forget to add some fun time, such as story time or talking about what happened during the day. Sometimes focusing too much on achieving the end result of a routine does NOT mean overlooking these opportunities to connect as a family.
Create rules at home
As we have mentioned above, children need rules and limits and these can be carried out correctly as long as the children have understood that the day must be structured to complete the routines. Within the structure of the day you must also make rules and limits so that everything works correctly. This means that creating a structure also involves implementing familiar rules. These rules should be clear and specific, such as:
- Not watching TV until homework and school are done
- Pick up toys whenever play is finished
- Speak well and with respect to others
The rules should be thought out in advance and the new rules should not be imposed on the children without having discussed them and got everyone together first. It is also important that when rules are set at home, consequences of breaking them are also considered, so that children understand what awaits them if they make a bad decision. The consequences may be the withdrawal of privileges, although they must be adapted to the age and severity of the misbehavior.
Be flexible from time to time
Even if you have very clear routines and rules to structure the day correctly, it never hurts to be a little flexible about all this. Some of the most memorable parts of a child's life are when their parents decide to throw the routine out the window for a bit of fun, like staying up late to see shooting stars or playing a board game at night even in the morning. there is school. Therefore, parents need to have a little flexibility in daily life. When you decide to deviate from the rules or routine, it is important to explain to your child why you are doing it and that it is an exception that will not be done every day.
You also need to be flexible as children grow. The rules and appropriate routines for a young child will change for your child as he grows up since you will have to adapt it to his needs and his idiosyncrasies. Every few months you will have to think about whether you should change something in the structure or the rules. You will realize that the power struggles will end, that your family will be better organized and that your child will be happier and feel much more autonomous.