Being a parent is not easy, and when it comes to parenting a teenager, then it can be much more difficult. Teenagers seem like independent little adults, but the reality is that they are still very dependent and need you at all times. Teenagers will want to show you that they are capable of doing things themselves, but the reality is that this is not the case in all cases.
They also need you to tell them that you love them and show them your unconditional love. They need to know that they are accepted and loved by their parents, because only in this way will they be able to build their personality and that their self-esteem is strong and increases without becoming arrogant. But, there is another part of parenting teens that not everyone talks about but that occurs daily within every home: constant complaints from parents.
Complaints from parents
Parents complain about their teens at many times of the day. They do it in front of them or behind their back when talking to other mothers or fathers who have children of similar ages, or perhaps only when talking to close relatives. They usually do it to vent or to find solutions to problems that they see too big.
The reality is that adolescents do not need to listen to these constant complaints, because it will only undermine their self-esteem and corroborate that they are not fit, or that they are lazy, or that they are street, or that they are disobedient ... they end up internalizing a dangerous label that them parents have inadvertently put up with their constant complaints.
Labels will make teens really think they are like this, although they have sufficient capacity to be able to have an adequate behavior. Complaints only generate family discomfort and even end up causing parents and children to become emotionally distant ... Some because they complain and others because they feel offended over and over again.
Teens don't need your complaints
Adolescents do not need complaints, what they need are rules and limits that they must adhere to. Although the rules and limits may be contrary to what adolescents want at these ages of 'I want to be independent', 'you don't send me', 'I know what I have to do, you don't have to tell me' , the reality is that they need them to feel safe and to know what to do at all times.
Without rules, adolescents will not know how to act or behave and can lead to imitated behavior, perhaps by inappropriate models such as those seen on television or what they see in high school. For all this, it is so important that you stop complaining about your children and that you begin to act at home, establishing rules and limits that everyone must comply with in order to improve coexistence. Respect will always be the basis of these rules and also of family life.
Adolescents at these ages grow very quickly and it is also a moment in their lives where they begin to assess what their future will be like and what path they want to follow to achieve their dreams. Some dreams that as parents, you should support them ... although at the same time you indicate which is the correct way to reach those dreams.
Adolescence is a difficult time
Adolescence is a difficult time, both for adolescents themselves and for parents who must educate them and make sure they are on the right path all the time. Adolescents are in a phase of change and there can be constant misunderstandings and intolerance between generations living under one roof. Before creating different teams within the same household, you need to take a deep breath and reconsider your position as a parent.
Below you will find a list of reasons why you can really make the most of your teenage years, and not turn them into years to want to forget. Do not fear your children's adolescence, because it is not as bad as it seems. Even on those days when it seems that you don't have emotional reserves to face some situations, even on those days too, you may discover that there are benefits to be had in your teenage life.
Reasons why having a teenager is wonderful
They bathe and wash themselves
You probably liked it when your teenage son was a baby and you bathed them ... but it was crazy at the end of the day, especially if you had more than one child. Then you had to make dinner quickly and prepare them for sleep following their routine. Now, on the other hand, things are very different and while you make dinner, your child calmly bathes alone, without help.
Sleeps many hours
Surely you have not forgotten the long nights your children put you through when they were babies or toddlers. Now they probably won't give you that problem anymore (except when they go out with friends, that until they get home you have a restless heart). But when they sleep through the night and then wake up ... they don't need you to do anything, They make breakfast themselves and dress themselves!
They can do things alone
If you have taught them well, they will be able to have daily housework that will make your life easier. Create a family chore chart so that they also have to do some tasks such as putting washing machines, hanging clothes, folding laundry, washing dishes, dusting, scrubbing the floor, taking the dog out, going shopping, etc. Although at first they may be reluctant, then they will get used to it and see that doing homework is one more habit that they have to do.
They have their own opinions
Teenagers have their own opinions and they like to have them. But as a father and mother, in addition to having their opinion, you must teach them to have their own criteria and to express their opinions always respecting others, with empathy and assertiveness.
The opinions of your teenagers on many occasions are likely to be not well formed or not well informed, or even, that they just don't quite understand what they are talking about. Sometimes your kids may think they are arguing with you but you are just getting involved in their world and trying to make sense of all that chaos. When you make them think, you feel like you're doing a good job, right?