Each person has a different type of temperament and it directly influences our perspective with the world and social interactions. Where temperament influences the most and where it is most important to be aware of it is in raising children. Your temperament can make the difference in a happy childhood in your children or in an unhappy childhood ...
In this sense, your temperament plays a big role in how you take care of your children on a daily basis. In fact, being aware or not about your temperament can determine if the discipline you teach in raising your children is effective (or not).
Your temperament influences how strict or permissive you will be with your child. It also plays a role in how much tolerance you will have for certain behaviors. Assessing your own behavior and how it fits your children will help you find more effective ways to respond correctly to your children's behaviors.
Temperament
Your temperament is made up of characteristics you were born with. Determine how you perceive and respond to your child's behaviors. It also influences your family relationship, as well as the discipline strategies you use. This is necessary to understand because just as you have a temperament innately inside you, your children also have it and it cannot be changed, although it can be molded.
Characteristics that form temperament
Discover the different characteristics of temperament, how do you define yourself?
- Sensitivity. You can be more or less sensitive to noise, smell, sounds, taste, or touch. You may feel discomfort towards loud noises and tolerate it in one way or another.
- Activity level. You can be more or less active daily and enjoy a lot or less physical activity.
- Intensity. Your daily energy will depend on how intense you are in life. Perhaps you can show exaggerated reactions to strong emotions or the opposite and that it is difficult for others to know how you feel at what times.
- Routines Maybe you enjoy routines or maybe you prefer to live life on the spur of the moment.
- Adaptability. There are people who adapt better to changes and others who need a more gradual process to be able to do so.
- Persistence. There are people who take longer to do the tasks but until they finish one they don't start another, and other people who prefer to do a thousand things at the same time and then leave almost all of them in half.
- Attention. Do you have good attention or are you easily distracted?
Assess your temperament
As you examine the factors that make up temperament, imagine that each is on a scale of one to five. You are likely near the end of the spectrum in some areas and in other areas, you may be more in the middle of the ladder.
It doesn't have to be one or the other situation, but there are degrees in which you possess certain characteristics.
Compare your temperament with your child's temperament
The main reason it's important to understand your temperament is that it can help you compare your temperament to your child's temperament. The fit between you and your child can help you recognize areas where you can be a good parent and areas where you may struggle ... and where you would of course have to do your part to improve and that parenting is good for your children and less stressful for you.
Remember, your temper is neither good nor bad. They are simply those characteristics that you were born with… You will not be able to change your child's temperament, but you can help him with certain things that are difficult for him once he is aware of the adjustment between your temperaments.
What if you have a similar temperament to your son?
There are certainly advantages and disadvantages to having a similar temperament to your child. For example, if you both have similar activity levels, it is probably a good coincidence… you can play sports together if your activity level is high.
On the other handIf you both have similar levels of intensity in reactions, it could end in some heated disagreements ... In other words, if there is not good emotional control, the discussions could be too explicit.
Emotional reactions can also be contagious, so if you are really angry and your child has a similar temperament, it can cause your child to get really angry.
What if the temperaments are totally different?
There are advantages and disadvantages to having opposite temperaments. Can you imagine a parent who likes to spontaneously raise a child who really needs structure and a routine? It can lead to some behavior problems as the child will probably be anxious and upset when he does not know the plans in advance ... Parents must adapt to the child and not the other way around.
However, opposites can sometimes balance each other. A parent who is very adaptable, but is raising a child who is quite rigid, can help him adjust to activities, showing patience and modeling new activities.
Develop appropriate discipline strategies
Being aware of your temperament and adjustment with your child can help you recognize areas where you may have difficulty disciplining him. For example, if you are sensitive to noise and are raising a four-year-old who is very active, how can you respond appropriately to avoid conflict? It can be helpful to recognize that their behaviors are normal and that your tolerance level for normal behaviors is low ...
Although you cannot change your temperament, you can change your parenting techniques. Determine which areas are your strengths and which areas can be weaknesses. You will have to think of parenting strategies that respect your child's temperament and above all, that help you balance your emotions. Remember that you are the adult and that children to grow up happy should do it by making noise, enjoying, playing and feeling your unconditional love every day of their life ... Essential for family happiness!